


Cars, Cats & an Idiot

by Serisia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accountant Castiel, Alternate Universe - Human, Castiel and Cats, Cats, Dating, Dean Has a Sexuality Crisis, Dean and Cats, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2015, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Romance, Slow Burn, Socially Awkward Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 07:50:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5155964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serisia/pseuds/Serisia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who would’ve thought that helping your brother buy a car could change your whole life? Certainly not Dean Winchester, but that’s exactly what happens, when he accidentally makes the blue-eyed car-salesman run away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** Background Sam/Jo, mentions of Gabriel/Kali. Cas has previously been part of an abusive relationship. Brief Cas/Inias dating, and Dean has a one night stand with a girl. A few uses of ableist language.
> 
> I can never thank my amazing artist [almaasi](http://almaasi.tumblr.com) enough for her incredible work and additionally betaing this fic, despite having her own DCBB posting date in a few days. 
> 
> Check out her [LJ Art Masterpost](http://almaasi.livejournal.com/26995.html)
> 
> This is my first DCBB and I can't believe I made it! Thank you so much to everybody who reads this and I hope you like it.

 

 

“C’mon, Sammy, you don’t wanna do this! Please think about it!”

“Dean! I thought about it and we talked about it and then I thought about it a little more, just to shut you up. But I’ve made my decision and it is final. This is what I want. You were the one who insisted you come along. Now, you can either do this quietly, or you can go home – your choice.” Without another word, Sam turned away from his brother and entered the building.

Grumpy, Dean looked around to make sure that nobody saw him go in _there,_ then he followed Sam quickly. Everything in him cringed when he heard the happy little artificial bell-sound the door made, and he was sure he would throw up any second when a short man with wavy blond hair in a dark suit shook Sam’s hand and said, cheerfully, “Welcome to ‘Toyotas of the Lord’. My name is Gabriel Lord. What can I do for you on this beautiful day?”

“Hi, I’m Sam Winchester and this is my brother Dean. I’m here to look for a Prius Hybrid.”

Dean seriously tried not to gag audibly behind him.

“Brilliant! I’m gonna set you up with one of my best salesman. Just one minute, I’ll fetch him.” Gabriel gave them another grin and left them looking at the cars.

 

 

Some days Castiel really hated his family. _“Just this once Cassie.” “Please Cassie; I don’t know what else to do.” “It’s just for today, tomorrow Luce will be back.” “Come on Cassie, it’s your duty. It’s the family business.”_

For two hours this morning, Gabriel had been nagging him to step in for their brother Lucifer at the family’s car dealership, because Luce had some urgent last-minute appointment and not one of their employees had time to fill in. But there was a very good reason Castiel did work as an accountant instead at ‘Toyotas of the Lord’ – he had absolutely no clue about anything remotely car-related and zero desire to change that. And now he stood in the back-room and sweated into his suit, praying that nobody wanted to buy a Toyota today.

But of course, when did he ever have that much luck? The door opened and Gabriel’s cheerful face appeared, “Cassie, I’ve got customers for you. Come on, show time.”

“Gabriel, please! No! I have absolutely no idea what to do. I know _nothing_ about cars or how to sell anything. I’ll just embarrass you.”

“No, Cassie, you can do it. Come on, it’ll be good practice for you. You need to come out of this shell of yours a little. Go on, they’re waiting for you and I need to make a call.” Gabriel clapped his little brother on the shoulder and shoved him through the door.

Castiel had no choice but to step out of the room and the door was closed behind him immediately.

_Come on Castiel, you can do it. Besides, you’ve got nothing to lose. What do you care if those people buy a car or not. It’s Gabriel’s own fault for forcing you to do this._

He gave himself a mental pep talk, straightened his shoulders and started walking towards the two men looking at the new... what was this thing’s name? Primus? Yes, great start...

He studied the customers for a moment. One of them was very tall, slim, but muscular, and had brown shoulder length hair. The other man was shorter, but still rather tall, with dark blonde short hair and built broader than his companion, but obviously well-built as well. The taller man was dressed in a black suit, while the blonde wore jeans and a plaid shirt. Castiel couldn’t help but notice that his sleeves were rolled up and took the opportunity to admire the man’s beautiful, lightly tanned forearms and hands for a moment.

He just wished that he could run away before the customers noticed him standing behind them. But, well, it really wasn’t Castiel’s day, was it? While he was still caught up in the sight of those pretty hands stroking the hybrid car, trying to muster up enough courage to make his presence known, a deep, clearly irritated voice started speaking.

 

 

Dean was starting to get really pissed. Not enough that his brother kept insisting on buying some crap modern safe-the-world car, no, now those people wasted Dean’s time by simply not showing. If they didn’t want to sell their cars, they could just say it.

Dean took his hands off of the black Prius and turned to look at Sam. “What kind of place is this anyway? How long do they wanna keep us waiting? If this oh-so-great salesman doesn’t grace us with his company within the next two minutes, I’ll--”

He had turned around completely while speaking and broke off now. There, in front of the door that this Gabriel had vanished through, stood the most gorgeous man Dean had ever seen. Wow, great manly man Dean Winchester mentally calling another dude ‘gorgeous’... But he just was! He was dressed in a black suit and a blue tie and he was staring at... Dean’s hands? Dean wasn’t sure.

The man’s black hair was tousled as if he had been running his hands through it repeatedly, his tie was crooked and he had droplets of sweat on his forehead. Dean vaguely considered making some snarky comment about it and the fact that it was about time he arrived, but before he could do this, the man tore his gaze from Dean’s hands and looked up, directly into Dean’s eyes.

Dean would never even consider admitting it, but the moment those unbelievably blue eyes met his, for a second he forgot how to breathe. He would never really be able to recall what exactly happened, all he knew was that he simply couldn’t look away. He honestly had no idea why, but he was just sort of drowning in these incredible blue things and in some secluded, still working part of his brain, he found that he couldn’t care less about reasons or even breaking his gaze, he would just be happy to stare into this stranger’s eyes for the rest of his life.

After what seemed like an eternity and concurrently no time at all, an awkward loud cough from Sam broke the spell. Dean violently shook his head and closed his mouth that, to his utter embarrassment, had been slightly ajar the whole time. He quickly ran his hand over his mouth; it wouldn’t be too surprising if he had been drooling while gaping at the poor guy, who still looked at the Winchesters with wide eyes, like a deer caught in headlights.

Dean carefully avoided looking into the salesman’s eyes again while he cleared his throat and then finally felt ready to speak again. “Well, finally. You guys should really work on your customer service around here.”

 

 

Castiel groaned and pressed his pillow tighter onto his face. That had to be one of the most embarrassing days of his life. A soft purr near his ear let him to turn his head slightly and look directly into the bottle-green eyes belonging to his brown and black striped cat. “Hello Jasper. I have made a complete fool out of myself today. I can’t even bear to talk about it with you.” He turned away again, not able to stand the compassionate look in the tabby’s eyes.

He knew it was probably a little creepy to talk to his cat like this, but Castiel had never been very outgoing and had never had many friends, so it was a relief to have Jasper to talk to, tell him his secrets and not be judged. He didn’t have the best relationship with his family either; they got along but weren’t very close. Gabriel was the only family member who cared enough about Castiel to even know what happened in his life.

When the youngest Lord-brother had lost his job two years ago, Gabriel hadn’t hesitated to offer him the spare room in his house, and since it was a nice arrangement for both of them, Castiel had stayed even when he had found a new job. Gabriel also was the one constantly trying to get his little brother to go out, make friends; even talking to people would have been an improvement. But his latest attempt had gone horribly wrong today.

Castiel cringed while only thinking about it. He had seen the Winchesters, had tried to work up the nerve to talk to them about the car or whatever, had honestly thought he might be able to do this – and then the older brother, Dean, had turned and looked at him.

Castiel froze the moment their eyes met. He had never seen or experienced something like that. This man was simply beautiful; there was no other word for it. But he also had incredible soulful eyes, Castiel had gotten the feeling he could see right to his core just by looking into these green orbs.

When the other man had finally broken their stare, sounding very irritated for being kept waiting for so long, Castiel could feel the red creeping onto his face. He always had had the habit of looking people in the eyes or standing just a little too close, and he knew that it made most people very uncomfortable. But never before had something like that happened to him. They had both been transfixed, neither of them apparently able or willing to look away, and Castiel had no idea why.

But, since he was the king of socially unacceptable behavior, Castiel suspected that it was his fault and he surely had made the other man terribly uncomfortable. He felt so embarrassed and seriously considered just leaving there and then, but part of him wanted to stay, unwilling to forego the chance to look at this man a little longer. His determination to pull this task Gabriel had given him off was growing.  

So he’d awkwardly cleared his throat after the man had complained about being kept waiting for so long, shivers running down Castiel’s spine at this deep voice being directed at him, and he addressed both men, not looking directly at either of them. “Excuse me for the delay,” he’d said. “My name is Castiel Lord and I hope I can help you today.” He smiled in a somewhat detached way at the room at whole.

The taller man stepped forward and shook his hand. “Hi, I’m Sam Winchester, and this is my brother Dean. I’m interested in the new Prius.”

Castiel nodded, mentally urging himself not to forget the name of the car again.

The other man – _Dean_ – put out his hand too and smirked at Castiel while shaking his. “Another Lord, huh? You guys certainly have interesting names. Castiel?”

“Yes, our father has a very special sense of humor, as I’m sure you can see by the way he chose to name his business. He thought it would be funny to give his children the names of angels, since we are the ‘children of the Lord’.” Castiel saw Dean chuckling at his use of air-quotes. “My sibling’s names are Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel and Anael, although most people just call her Anna.” He knew he was babbling and those men most certainly didn’t want to know all of this, but he couldn’t stop himself. He was just way too nervous.

Dean stared at him, smirk playing around his lips. “Your brother’s name is Lucifer? Wow, that’s really... unique. Poor guy. Guess you got lucky then. They gave you the nicest name of them all, by far.”

Castiel felt himself turn deep crimson, and he gaped open mouthed at the blonde man. Never – _never_ – had anybody ever said something like that about his name. People laughed about his name, people felt sorry for him because of his name, people thought he was a freak because of his name, but never before had somebody called it nice, least of all nicer than his siblings’. He couldn’t help but ask, “Are you serious?”

Dean looked somewhat surprised at that and gave him a real, honest smile now. “‘Course! Castiel is a great name!”

Castiel wanted to see if the man really meant that, for whatever reason that seemed to be the most important thing in the world at that moment, so he looked into Dean’s eyes... and immediately he was caught in them again. They stared at each other until suddenly Dean blinked, his eyes widened and he too turned beet red and tore his gaze away forcefully. Both men coughed awkwardly and looked in different directions. Castiel shot a quick glance at Sam and saw that he was flicking his eyes between him and his brother curiously, but there was amusement in his look, too.

Castiel tried to pull himself together. Pointedly looking everywhere but at Dean, he stepped around the Winchesters to finally do his job – or what he pretended was his job, at least. He walked over to the car both men had been looking at before they had noticed him.

“So this is the car you are interested in?” Castiel asked Sam. 

Sam barely had time to nod and open his mouth, when his brother clapped him on the shoulder and beamed proudly at him.

“Yeah, Sammy graduated from Stanford last year. Now he’s working for a fancy-ass law firm in town. They do environment things and stuff and he now needs one of those cars to go with the job.” Dean’s tone was teasing, but Castiel could tell how incredibly proud and happy he was.

Now it was Sam’s turn to blush. “What my brother fails to mention every time he praises me, is that he worked three jobs simultaneously for the past ten years to get me through high school and college.” He sounded very affectionate and thankful. Castiel couldn’t help but envy their relationship a little bit. This piece of information did nothing to lessen the strange pull and fascination he’d felt since laying eyes on Dean. The man wasn’t just stunningly beautiful; he seemed to be a great person, too. That certainly wasn’t helping Castiel to concentrate on selling this damn car.

This whole day was getting more and more awkward.

A few minutes ago he couldn’t have cared less about selling this car, or even making a good impression on the customers, but now he had the nearly unbearable urge to impress them – well, to impress Dean. If Dean were interested in hearing something about books or coffee, Castiel’s cat, or even about accounting, great, but while trying to sell a car? No chance. Again Castiel felt the instinct to run away, but he chided himself, reminding himself that Dean most likely had absolutely no interest in men, so there was no need at all to impress him, therefore no need to worry and be nervous.

So he started to talk, showing the Winchesters the interior of the car, blabbering something about colors and efficiency and praising the hydrogen engine.  At that point Dean burst out laughing, obviously suppressing the desire to do so for quite some time already.

Castiel looked at him, horrified.

Dean tried to speak, but every time he opened his mouth, another laughing fit hit him. “Dude... wha... what are you talking about? It’s a _hybrid_ engine. And the other stuff... Do you even _know_ about cars?” He was still chuckling.

For a moment there was silence, and Castiel just stared at the man, mouth slightly opened in shock. The desire to run overwhelmed him and this time he didn’t have the strength to fight it. So he ran.

He bolted into the office and took the backdoor, ignoring Gabriel’s irritated shouts of “Cassie? What’s wrong? _Cassie_!”

Castiel hadn’t slowed down until he had reached the door of Gabriel’s apartment two blocks away, where he now still was hiding under his pillow.

He didn’t hear the key in the lock or the door of his room opening, so he was startled by Gabriel dragging the pillow out of his grip.

“Hey Cassie! Rise and shine!”

Castiel groaned and tried to pull his blanket over his head, but his brother prevented that as well.

“Here, little brother, I brought you your precious coat. You forgot it in the office when you sprinted away. I guess that’s a first.” Gabriel threw Castiel’s beloved tan trench coat onto the bed. “Wanna tell me what that was all about?”

“No,” was the curt answer.

Gabriel continued to stand there, silently looking at his brother until the younger man couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m so sorry, Gabriel! I didn’t want to mess up your sale. But I just... oh god!” Castiel groaned, burying his face in his hands.

“Hey Cassie, you didn’t mess up the sale. I went outside when you left and finished the deal, so don’t worry about that. Tell me what happened.” Gabriel spoke gently now, sitting down on the edge of Castiel’s bed. He had always been good at judging Castiel’s emotions, and now was no exception. “Come on, baby bro, talk to me.” 

Castiel looked at his brother, took a deep breath, and decided to tell him everything. 

Words spilled from him, recounting the events of the day for a second time, but this time he replayed every detail, every thought and insecurity that had run through his head, things he hadn’t bothered to tell his cat. 

“...And I guess I just blacked out for a moment. It was so embarrassing, Gabriel! I couldn’t handle it, so I ran. I’m so sorry; I really thought I could do it. I didn’t want to make you look bad.” He hung his head when he was finished with his story.

“Castiel, don’t mind me or the shop. I’m sorry, I should never have thrown you into that situation, especially since I knew the moment I saw this guy that he was your type. I thought it might be easier for you to handle the situation if you had something to talk about. Pretty silly idea, I guess... Sorry.” Gabriel put one arm around Castiel’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault I’m socially incompetent. At least you didn’t lose the customers.”

“Don’t worry about that, Cassie. There are plenty of people out there who won’t mind, and would like you for who you are. I do, don’t I? And you know that’s not just because you’re my brother. I don’t like the others at all,” Gabriel teased.

Finally, Castiel’s mood began to brighten, and he chuckled. “Thank you, Gabriel.”

“And by the way, he wasn’t even that good looking.” Gabriel winked, bumping his brother with a shoulder, but Castiel just stared at him.

“Yes, Gabriel. He _really_ was!”

“Yeah, you’re right. He really was.” Gabriel agreed grinning and then the brothers both toppled over laughing, the tension leaving Castiel’s body at last.

 

 

Dean couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened at the car dealer. He didn’t know why, but his thoughts kept drifting back to the dark-haired man with the stunning eyes. Dean didn’t know what had caused him to run away like that, but it clearly had something to do with what Dean had said and the fact that he laughed about him, and for that, Dean was terribly sorry. He didn’t want to talk about it with Sam, because he felt like he wouldn’t be able to explain why it bothered him so much, but he knew he had to _do_ something.

That was the reason Dean stepped into ‘Toyotas of the Lord’ again, three days later. He was a little nervous, and didn’t really know what he was going to say, but he forced himself to go in.

There was only one salesman inside the shop: a tall man with short blonde hair who Dean had never seen before. His heart sank a little; he didn’t know what to do now. He had banked on at least one of the two Lords he knew being there.

To his everlasting relief, at the exact moment the blonde man began to walk up to him, the office door opened and Gabriel came into the showroom. “Dean!” he cheered. “What a surprise. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again in here. Everything alright? Did my amazing sales talent convince you to buy one of our great cars, too?” Gabriel winked at him and Dean felt himself relax slightly. 

“God no!” Dean laughed. “I’ll keep my Baby, thank you very much!” 

“So, what can I do for you? That’s my brother Lucifer, by the way,” Gabriel said, introducing the other man in the room. “Co-owner of ‘Toyotas of the Lord’.” Dean nodded a greeting. 

Dean wasn’t sure what to think about the older Lord-brother, he didn’t make a very likeable first impression. 

Gabriel seemed to sense Dean’s thoughts; he leaned in to him and muttered, “Yeah, I know, he’s a bit... arrogant. And snobby. And a whole bunch of other unpleasant stuff.” Gabriel winked and grinned. “He kinda grows on you after a while, but believe me; with me and Cassie, you already met the nicest members of the Lord family. And the prettiest, too.” The short man chuckled and shoulder-bumped Dean, and Dean knew that he turned beet red again. This started to be his default skin color whenever he was in here.

Thankfully Gabriel just gave him a knowing smirk and let the topic slide. “Come into the office Dean-o, there you can tell me why you are here.” 

“Well,” Dean began, “I thought it would be nice to surprise Sam by putting one of these douchey phone-docking things in his car. Could you do that?” Dean used his prepared excuse for coming here. Well, it wasn’t just an excuse - Sammy’s birthday was in a few weeks, so this was pretty useful as well. 

“Of course, that’s no problem. I’ll just update the order and send the extra bill to you.” Gabriel smiled, but Dean had the feeling he knew that this wasn’t his real reason for coming back.

“So... uhm... since you mentioned him earlier...” Dean wanted to get through with this, but he was blushing again, damn it, and he didn’t seem to be able to form whole sentences all of a sudden. “I was kinda hoping your brother would be here. I... uhm... I’m not sure what exactly happened the other day, but I guess it’s sorta my fault and... uhm, I’d really like to apologize, you know?”

Gabriel had the decency to act surprised. “Cassie? Oh sorry, he doesn’t really work here. I kind of forced him to help out here the other day and I really should’ve known better. You see, my brother isn’t really good with people, he has some very bad social anxieties and I guess it was a dick move on my part to throw him into this situation. But I thought it might help him, or he might be ready, but oh boy, was I wrong. So yeah, I guess it’s more my fault than yours, but, trying to remain as professional as I can while saying this, you shouldn't have laughed at him. He was absolutely mortified and embarrassed, even hours later.” Gabe’s smile had turned a little sad by now. 

Dean was completely shocked. “Oh man. I wouldn’t’ve said anything if I knew. I thought he was a real car dealer and was just messing with me. Wow... Poor guy. Now I feel even worse. Look, I really, really want to make it up to him. Any chance he’s coming by any time soon?” 

“No, I suspect he won’t set foot in here for a long time. But I happen to know that my little brother volunteers at the animal shelter down the street every Saturday. And he usually forgets to eat breakfast on these days...” Gabriel trailed off with a soft smile playing around his lips.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Thus it happened that Dean Winchester, for the second time in one week, did something he’d never thought he would do by choice – he got up early on Saturday morning, drove to the nearest coffee shop to get breakfast for two, and walked into the animal shelter ten minutes later. 

“Hi. Uhm.” He rubbed his neck self-consciously. “I would like to help out here today, if that’s possible. And I’m looking for, uh, Castiel Lord?” He couldn’t help but letting it sound like a question.

The lady at the counter smiled widely at him. “Hello! Of course you’re _more_ than welcome to help. As for Castiel, he’s at the cat house. Just go through here--” she gestured down a hallway, “--and then turn left. He can show you around.” 

Dean thanked her and went to find the cat house. 

With every step he grew more nervous and repeatedly asked himself why he was doing this, but then Castiel’s horrified face before he ran popped up in his mind and his determination to make this right came back. 

When he arrived at the door to the cat house, he forced himself to open it and walk right in without further hesitation. He looked around the rather large room. In the far corner Castiel sat on the floor, surrounded by numerous cats, a happy smile on his face and looking so content and downright adorable, that Dean couldn’t help but smile, too. And before he could take a mental double take at the fact that he just called this man ‘adorable’ in his head, Castiel looked up and stared at Dean, absolutely shocked.

“Dean!” He flushed, then corrected, “Uhm, sorry, Mr. Winchester. What are you doing here?” 

“It’s fine, Cas, call me Dean.” And yeah, he was blushing again, damn it - and did he just give Castiel a nickname?

“And I’m here because I wanna talk to you,” Dean explained. “Plus, I brought breakfast.” He held up the paper bag, grinning sheepishly. Castiel stared at him with wide eyes, so Dean walked over to him, sat beside him on the floor and handed him his coffee. “Double Espresso Caramel Macchiato. I heard that’s your poison.” He winked and grinned. 

Cas took the cup, still petting the cat in his lap absentmindedly with the other hand. He took a sip. “That’s perfect, thank you. But... how... why... what are you doing here?” 

Dean took a deep breath, sipped on his own coffee (black, one spoon of sugar), and started to explain.

“Look,” he said, “I felt really bad for what happened the other day. I went back and talked to Gabriel and he explained your reaction, and he told me where to find you and how to bribe you to forgive me.” Dean gave Castiel a cheeky grin, then continued before he could reply. “Nah, don’t say anything. Listen man, I’m real sorry. I wasn’t laughing _at_ you. I thought you were messing with me and I wouldn’t have said those things if I had known that it would hurt you, believe me.” Dean took a breath and handed over the wrapped-up breakfast he’d brought. “Now, eat your burrito, and after that you show me what I have to do here. I told the lady out front that I’m here to help today, so I guess that’s what I’m gonna do.” 

Castiel took the offered burrito, his favorite kind of breakfast. He finally responded to Dean’s smile with one of his own. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. 

Before either of them could prevent it, their eyes met, and once again they were inexplicably captured by each other’s gaze. This time they smiled at each other like idiots, and they kept smiling until one of the cats jumped onto Dean’s lap and they both looked away, chuckling about the needy little thing. 

Dean would honestly never have thought it possible to have that much fun with someone he barely knew, and at an animal shelter of all places, but he had one of the funniest days in a very long time that Saturday. 

He and Cas – yeah, the nickname stuck, because Castiel seemed to like it – finished their breakfast and afterwards emptied the litter boxes and cuddled the cats, then Cas showed Dean around the shelter. 

Dean, to his own astonishment, found himself to be willing to do a whole lot of things to make those blue eyes crinkle in a smile. It didn’t even faze him in the slightest, when a huge Labrador tackled him in the backyard and sent him straight to his ass, licking his face excitedly, because, when he looked up at Castiel, he saw him grin wider than ever before. 

Castiel relaxed visibly while talking about the animals, his work at the shelter and later his day job as a tax accountant – things he knew and liked. He grew more comfortable around Dean as the day progressed, and Dean was surprised to notice that he already made plans in his head for what they could do the next time they met. There was something about this guy that made him want to get to know him. Just like everything else that had happened since they met, that was something Dean couldn’t explain. But, undoubtedly, he very much felt he’d like to become better friends with Castiel. 

So when Cas told Dean they were finished for the day around two p.m., it only felt natural for Dean to try and prolong their time together. The loud growl of his stomach at that moment gave him the perfect opportunity. He rubbed his neck, a little embarrassed, and he put the other hand on his belly, not even bothering to hide the fact that he’d blushed once again. 

“So, uhm... wanna go grab some lunch?” 

And he couldn’t help but feel that the small, sincere smile Cas gave him before nodding in agreement was really worth all the blushing and embarrassment.

 

 

“That was fun.” Dean grinned at Castiel over the table of their booth. They had decided to eat at the cozy diner across the street from the shelter, which Cas knew pretty well, since he ate there most Saturdays. 

“Yes, it was.” Castiel smiled back. “Thank you for your help, Dean. And the breakfast.” 

“No problem. I had to make something up to you after all.” 

 

 

For a few moments they sat there in silence, smiling at each other, until they were interrupted by the waitress coming to their table. “Hello,” she smiled at Castiel. “The usual?” He nodded. “And for you sir?” she asked Dean. 

“I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger with fries and a coffee please,” he answered with his brightest smile, but in return the waitress just laughed and winked at Cas before skipping off to place their orders. Dean shot Castiel a confused look and saw him smiling in amusement. “Ah, okay - let me guess. The ‘usual’ is a bacon cheeseburger with fries and coffee?” 

“With iced tea actually, but apart from that, yes.” Castiel’s blue eyes twinkled. 

“Well, I guess that explains her reaction.” Dean chuckled now too. “So, Cas, what do you do when you’re not helping at the shelter, helping people with their taxes or helping your brothers by pretending to be a car dealer?” Dean held his breath for a moment, waiting for Castiel’s reaction, afraid he may have crossed the line. But he was relieved to see the other man smile at him, obviously finally able to see the entertaining side of the incident. 

“Well, I don’t really do much else. Mostly I’m at home with my cat, and if I don’t have work brought home with me, I read a lot. Sometimes Gabriel comes home early and we have dinner together, but most nights he stays out late, meeting with friends, having dates. Things like that, I think.” Castiel looked at Dean, a little melancholic. “My own life must look sad and empty to an outsider.” 

Dean shook his head - he only was surprised by one thing. “You live with Gabe?” 

“Yes. I... I had a rough time a few years back. Since Gabriel and I are the only ones of our siblings that aren’t married, or in some other kind of relationship - therefore some sorts of outcasts in our family - we had grown quite close. So he took me in. It worked well; he didn’t need the room otherwise, thus Jasper and me stayed.” 

“Jasper’s your cat?” 

Castiel nodded.

“Cas and Jas. Cute,” Dean chuckled, before realizing what he just said and immediately turning crimson again. _Cute? Wow, real smooth Winchester!_  

Thankfully that was the moment the waitress finally brought their food and Dean thanked her enthusiastically. He was still thinking about what the hell was wrong with him these last few days, when he noticed the flirtatious smile the waitress gave Cas while placing his food in front of him. He had no idea why he suddenly had the urge to take Castiel and leave this place, but what was even weirder was the oddly pleased feeling he got when he saw that Castiel was utterly oblivious to the waitress’s advances, and-or completely uninterested. He looked at her briefly to thank her for the food, but then his eyes immediately travelled back to Dean. 

Dean had no clue where these sudden possessive feelings towards Castiel came from, but he could only assume it was due to the fact that he had very few close friends and he wasn’t willing to share this potential new one just yet. 

“Cas and Jas... You really have a thing for nicknames, don’t you?” Castiel’s words pulled Dean from his musings. 

“What?” Dean said. 

Castiel’s head tilted to the side, waiting for a reply. 

Dean shook his head to stop himself from staring again. “Oh, yeah. I guess so. I usually shorten the names of people I like. Sometimes I do it with people I don’t like, too, to mock them. Like your brother Luci,” Dean grinned. 

Castiel laughed and Dean was rendered speechless for a moment by the way that action seemed to transform his whole face. He was a very good-looking man in normal situations, gorgeous even, but now, laughing carefree, with white teeth and twinkling blue eyes and his deep, dark voice, he was just stunningly beautiful. 

“Now I hope you’re not calling me Cas to mock me,” Castiel chuckled. 

Dean, still not able to use his full brain again, answered before his head could catch up with his mouth, completely honest: “No. You, I like.” 

And when Cas turned beet-red at this and smiled, Dean for once was glad to have spoken without thinking first.

 

 

Castiel was still in some kind of daze when he entered Gabriel’s apartment two hours later. They had finished their meal, talking about everything that came to mind. Dean had been appalled at Castiel’s lack of pop culture knowledge, and Cas was equally shocked about Dean’s less-than-expert knowledge about classic literature. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Dean said in mock defensiveness, “I do read! Vonnegut is great. And I dig ‘The Lord of the Rings’. I just don’t have that much time to read, and besides, I’m not the smart Winchester, that’s Sam. I’m just a high-school-dropout who works at his uncle’s garage.” 

“I don’t think that’s true. I think you are a very smart man, Dean Winchester.” Castiel spoke earnestly, making sure to look straight at Dean, so he could see that Cas meant what he said. Dean immediately blushed and started to fidget. His eyes shot away from Castiel’s and he looked everywhere but at the man before him. It was really quite adorable.

“Yeah, right,” Dean snorted and stuffed three fries at once into his mouth, but Cas saw the little pleased smile on his lips nonetheless. Castiel decided to drop the subject; he didn’t want to make Dean truly uncomfortable. 

Castiel was genuinely surprised by his own behavior; he’d thought he would freeze up and never be able to talk again, should he meet Dean Winchester a second time. But here he was, laughing, talking, teasing, and all of that with the man he’d thought he couldn’t face again without dying of embarrassment.

Dean had been so sincere when he apologized for having made Cas run away, that Castiel couldn’t feel uncomfortable around him any more. Castiel had quickly found things to talk to him about, since the work at the shelter gave him plenty of things to explain, and after that it just felt natural to talk about everything else as well. Just being there with Dean, spending time together, felt natural, and for a moment, while they both ordered pie for dessert and laughed about their similar food tastes, Castiel worried that this wonderful experience was slowly coming to an end. From past experience, Castiel knew that people like Dean didn’t become friends with people like him, so he decided to enjoy every moment of this while it lasted. 

He was dragged from his thoughts by the sound of Dean’s voice, saying, “So, Cas, how much do you like your ‘stay at home and read a book’ evenings?” Dean grinned hopefully. “Wanna do something different tomorrow night? Maybe go for a drink or something? Or any other day if tomorrow doesn’t work for you.” 

For a moment Castiel stared at him, surprised. His first impulse was to say yes, but then he asked himself why Dean would want to do this and his suspicious side took over. “Dean, you don’t have to do this,” Castiel sighed. “It’s nice of you, but unnecessary. You more than made up for laughing at me by helping at the shelter today, and you really don’t have to spend any more time on me out of pity or charity.” Castiel knew he would regret this when sitting alone in his room later, but it was his only chance to preserve a last bit of dignity. 

Dean didn’t answer right away; he just stared back, dumbstruck. After a long moment, he finally seemed to find his voice again. “What? Cas, what are you talking about? That has nothing to do with pity or charity. I meant what I said earlier. I do like you! And since I’m not one with that many friends either, I figured it couldn’t hurt to spend more time with you.” He shifted in his seat, giving a bashful smirk. “Besides, somebody’s gotta take charge of your pop culture education, don’t they.” He gave a wink to lighten the mood, but he had been so candid while talking, that Castiel chose to believe him, even though he had absolutely no clue why Dean Winchester would like him. 

For once, Castiel decided to try and take a good thing that was presented to him. “Well, then,” he said, “I think drinks tomorrow night would be nice.” He smiled at Dean, still a little shy and cautious. But as soon as those words had left his mouth, Dean broke into such a sincerely happy smile that Cas knew he had made the right choice. 

While finishing their pie, they settled the time and place to meet – Sunday, seven p.m. at the Roadhouse Bar & Grill – and then it was time to go their separate ways. Dean was invited to his brother’s place this evening, so he needed to go home to take a shower and a change of clothes before that. 

Castiel... well, there was always a book waiting for him at home. Suddenly that prospect wasn’t as appealing as it normally was. Dean offered to drive him home, but Castiel declined, since it wasn’t far and he didn’t want to steal even more of Dean’s time. And furthermore, he really needed some time to process everything that had happened and he didn’t think that being locked inside a tiny metal box with this breathtaking man would help with that.

So they said their goodbyes in front of the diner, each somewhat reluctant. With a final “See ya tomorrow Cas. Lookin’ forward to it,” and a big, honest smile, Dean turned away and went to his car, while Castiel set off to Gabriel’s apartment. 

Throughout the journey home, Castiel was unable to lose the small, happy smile that had appeared on his face after Dean’s parting words. He could barely believe his luck. Sure, Dean seemed to be interested in him only as a friend, and if he ever figured out Castiel’s ever-growing, absolutely non-platonically interest in him, it could be a problem, but Cas was determined to have this man in his life in whatever way he could. 

Having Dean as a friend was more than Castiel ever hoped for. The fact he felt so comfortable around Dean, like he could truly be himself - that would have been enough to desire the man’s friendship, but Dean was also an incredibly warm-hearted, selfless, caring, smart and funny person, who seemed to genuinely enjoy Castiel’s company, and Castiel felt lucky that such a person considered him worthy of his attention. 

When Gabriel came home, Castiel had been sitting in his favorite armchair for almost an hour, Jasper on his lap, the book in his hands long forgotten, reminiscing about the day and the man he had spent it with. 

“Cassie?” Gabriel called. 

There it was, the loathed nickname his brother always used to annoy him. Dean called him _Cas_... and Castiel had allowed him to. Dean had been very apologetic after the nickname had slipped out this morning; he’d said that he really liked the name Castiel, but it was quite a mouthful in normal conversation. Before he could say any more, Cas had stopped him and told him that it was alright and that he actually liked the nickname Cas. The ‘when it comes from you’ part, he kept to himself.

“Cassie, you home?” Gabriel shouted again. 

“I’m here Gabriel!” Castiel responded.

Gabriel came into the room, a disappointed look on his face. “Oh,” he said. “I kinda thought you might be... I don’t know... not home... yet,” he muttered with a sheepish look. 

“And why is that? I am always home at this hour on Saturdays.” Of course, Castiel knew where his brother’s thoughts were coming from, but he decided to play it safe. 

“I don’t know, I... thought you would maybe have... something better to do. Anyways. How was your day? Anything interesting happen?” Oh, now Gabriel was trying it the innocent way, Castiel noticed. 

“No, not really,” Castiel said, acting nonchalant. “Pretty much the same as every Saturday, although we did of course get much more work done than normally, thanks to the extra pair of hands. And the breakfast was very welcomed by the way, thank you.” Castiel smiled at his brother.

Understanding dawned on Gabriel’s face and he broke into a wide, happy grin. “He really came?” Gabriel cried. 

“Yes, he did.” Castiel smiled contentedly at his brother. “And we had a very nice time. Thank you, Gabriel.”

“Tell me, tell me! I wanna know _everything_!” Gabriel clapped his hands together and sat down on the floor in front of Castiel’s armchair, giggling. 

“You are a child, Gabriel!” But Castiel couldn’t help laughing and started to tell his brother about his day. He left no detail spared, as he had no reason to hide anything from his older brother.

“Oh, wow, Cassie, that sounds great! And you’ve got a second date already?” Gabriel was nearly ecstatic when Castiel had finished his story.

“Neither meeting was, or _is_ a date, Gabriel! We’re just friends. Or, I should better say, on the way to becoming friends,” Castiel corrected himself sternly. 

“Oh yeah, you’re friends alright. Cassie, you’re completely gone on this guy! You should see yourself talking about him. You get that dopey grin on your face that I get when I see candy. Oh, that reminds me...” He trailed off and pulled a lollipop out of his pocket with dreamy eyes and immediately started sucking it. 

“Gabriel! I’m not...” Cas started to protest, but faltered under his brother’s teasing gaze. “Alright, maybe I am a little bit... taken by him. But can you blame me? That doesn’t change the fact that he’s most likely not interested in me that way, though.” 

“Yeah, alright, we’ll see about that,” Gabriel winked. “But seriously, I’m happy for you, little brother. You deserve someone in your life to go and have drinks with, even if it’s just as friends.” 

“Thank you, Gabriel.”

The older brother smiled and stood up to leave the room. Just before he reached the door, he turned back one more time. “But just so you know Cassie, I’m gonna be your bridesmaid!” He smirked and ran out of the room laughing, just barely avoiding the book Castiel threw after him.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Dean was so nervous, it was actually pretty ridiculous. What the hell was wrong with him? He was just meeting a friend for a few drinks. Why was his heart racing and his hands sweating? And why had he been standing in front of the mirror to style his hair, and in front of his closet for an eternity to find something to wear, as if he was going on a _date_? It was really idiotic.

He probably needed to get laid. He couldn’t even remember the last time. Maybe he should seize the opportunity and find a girl tonight. Maybe one with a pretty friend for Cas as well. He did his best to ignore the gut wrenching feeling at the idea of Castiel going home with some random girl. _Good god Winchester, what the fuck is wrong with you? Get a grip, will ya!?_  

Before Dean could work himself into a panic attack, Castiel came around the corner and all of Dean’s thoughts vanished, both rational and irrational, leaving behind only a blissfully empty brain and a slack jaw. The man looked absolutely stunning; there was no other way to put it. He was dressed in black slacks and a blue button-down, matching and accentuating his eyes perfectly. His hair was the same dark mess as always, but that and his stubble topped his amazing appearance off. 

“Hello Dean.” Castiel smiled shyly at him. That husky voice saying his name was what pulled Dean out of his daze, but not because his blood finally returned to his brain, but because – to his horror – it all rushed downwards and pooled together someplace entirely different.

“Uh. Hi... Uhm...” Obviously Dean wasn’t able to form coherent sentences just yet. “You look...” Aaand he was crimson again! _Oh man, Winchester! What are you doing???_ “Y-You look, uhm... different...” _Yeah, nice save, dork!_

“Oh yes, I thought my usual work attire would be a little inappropriate for drinks at a bar.” Castiel’s shy smile was now companioned by a faint blush. 

“What, so you’re working at the shelter in suit and tie, but tonight you decided to dress differently?” It was true, Cas had been in a black suit and a blue crooked tie while sitting on the floor in the cat house, covered in cats and their hair. Dean would have laughed at that time, if it hadn’t seemed so totally... _Cas_. “Wow, I’m honored dude!” Dean smiled and clapped his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, trying to lighten the mood. “Come on, let’s go inside.” 

The Roadhouse was already crowded, but Dean spotted an empty booth in the far corner. While they made their way over, he leaned a little into Cas, to make sure he could hear him over the crowd. “Listen, I should probably warn you,” Dean said. “The owner, Ellen, she’s kinda like my surrogate mother. She and Jo, her daughter, can be a little intimidating at times, so if it’s too much or they make you uncomfortable, just say the word and we’re outta here.” 

Castiel gave him a huge happy smile at that. “Thank you Dean. But I’m sure I’ll be alright.” 

They sat down at the booth, facing each other and almost immediately Jo popped out of nowhere at their table. “Hey Dean-o! Who’s your friend?” 

“Hi Jo, that’s Castiel Lord. Cas, Joanna Beth Harvelle, Sammy’s girlfriend and one of the sisters I never wanted.” Dean smirked when Jo slapped his arm for that.

The both of them shook hands. “Castiel? Wow, cool name!” 

Cas blushed a little and smiled. “Thank you. You can call me Cas though, if you like. My full name can be ‘quite a mouthful’ I believe Dean has put it.” 

Jo laughed, “Yeah that sounds like Dean! What can I bring you guys?” They both ordered beer and food and Jo floated away again. 

“She seems nice,” Cas said after a moment of silence. 

“Jo? Yeah, she is. And so is Ellen. They’re family. See, my mom died when I was four and Sammy was just a baby. My dad didn’t take it well, he started drinking and often he vanished for weeks at a time. Sometimes he took us with him on his road trips, but most of the time he left us with Bobby or Ellen. They brought us up, Ellen’s kinda the only mother Sam ever knew...” Dean was getting a little sad now. Talking about his parents always had that effect on him. 

Then he heard Cas say “I’m so sorry, Dean,” and he looked up into his eyes, and for a moment he seriously considered drowning in these deep blue lakes and never surfacing again. 

But Castiel had also reached out his hand, about to place it comforting on top of Dean’s, which was resting on the table. It would be the first time they touched skin to skin since shaking hands nearly a week ago at the car dealer. 

Some kind of electrical impulse raced through both of their bodies when their hands touched. Cas yanked his hand away, shocked. His eyes had gone impossibly wide and he began to stutter “Oh, I’m so... sorry... I don’t know... I guess I must have... walked over a carpet or something... like that...” 

The both of them were still staring into each other’s eyes stunned, neither one able to break the gaze. Dean just nodded. He knew it hadn’t been your ordinary electrostatic discharge, this had felt entirely different. It had been like a bolt of lightning racing through his whole body, converging in his heart and leaving behind a feeling of pure... want. Dean had absolutely no idea what that was about, but he had also no desire to figure it out, so he was completely okay with pretending it was some carpet’s fault.

There was a long silence. They were still staring into each other’s eyes, mesmerized, and Dean was desperately fighting the urge to reach out and grip Castiel’s hand, which was still hovering awkwardly over the table in front of its owner. Additionally he tried to kick-start his brain to maybe use it to find a way to break this loaded atmosphere and go back to the light-hearted one they had a few minutes ago. 

Like so many times before in his life, Ellen saved him. “Hey boys, everything okay?” She placed their beers on the table, effectively breaking their eye-contact. Both men’s heads snapped up to look at her in relief. 

“Hey Ellen. Yeah, everything’s fine. How ‘bout you?” Dean gladly jumped the chance to escape the tension. 

“I’m always good, you know that.” She smiled at Dean and then turned her head towards Cas, extending her hand. “Hi, you must be Castiel. Jo said you were cute and I gotta say, she was right.” She winked at Castiel, but in a motherly, calming way. Dean could see Cas blush slightly and give her a sweet shy smile. 

“Thank you. And you can call me Cas if you like.”

They shook hands and Ellen smiled pleased. “I might just do that honey, thanks. Well, I better get back behind the bar. Just wanted to say hello.” 

She gave them a little wave and left. There was another brief silence, this time they both carefully avoided looking at each other. After two minutes or so, Cas cleared his throat awkwardly and finally broke the silence. “So, uhm, you mentioned yesterday you’re working for your uncle?” 

Dean took a sip of his beer and rubbed his hands over his face to clear his mind. “Yeah. Well, Bobby owns a garage, and I’ve worked there since I was fifteen to support Sam and after I dropped out of high school. I started full time. Now I run the place most of the time, I guess he wants to hand it over to me soon. He’s got no kids of his own, so I’m the logical choice. And yeah, I really love the place, but I’m not an office person, I like to work on cars, get my hands dirty, the whole accountancy and organisatory stuff kinda gives me the creeps.” 

“Well, maybe I could help you with that? Since I _am_ an accountant...” Cas trailed off. 

Dean’s head snapped up and he looked at Castiel with a stunned, but hopeful grin. “You would do that? That would be great, man!” 

“Yes, well, that’s what friends are for, aren’t they?” Castiel smiled a little cautiously. 

Dean barked a small laugh, “Yeah that’s right. You’re gonna start singin’ now Dionne?” 

Cas just stared at him and squinted his eyes confused. Dean found it very hard not to obvious at the adorable way the other man’s nose crinkled. “I...” he tilted his head to the side, “I don’t understand that reference.” 

Dean just looked at him for a moment, not at all surprised about that. Then he shrugged and grinned, “Doesn’t matter, forget it.” 

At this Jo arrived with their food, but she had no time to stick around and talk, since the Roadhouse was packed now. Both of them happily dug in. None of them was talking much, Cas being too busy enjoying the great food and Dean being too busy trying to convince himself that the little happy noises and moans Castiel was making while eating weren’t the hottest thing he had ever heard. He had absolutely no idea what was wrong with him. He caught himself staring open-mouthed at Cas after he had made an especially loud moan, accompanied by a deep growl of “Oh my god, Dean, that’s amazing!” - thankfully without looking up and catching Dean staring - and only then did Dean begin to seriously question his own mental health.

He hastily excused himself and went to the bathroom, where he splashed cold water into his face, desperately trying to calm down. _Get a grip Winchester, won’t ya?!_ When his pulse had slowed enough and his breathing was nearly back to normal, he finally felt ready to go back to the table. 

Although he was telling himself that everything was okay and something like that wouldn’t happen again, he was ridiculously relieved when he saw that Cas had finished eating and their plates were already gone. 

Castiel smiled at him as he sat back down. “This was really delicious Dean. Thank you for bringing me here, I would never have considered coming here.” 

“No problem, always happy to make other people addicted to Ellen’s food.” Dean grinned back. Just like that, they eased back into the easy atmosphere they had between them most of the time. They talked about everything that came to mind – Dean told stories of the road trips they took with their father, Castiel told him about growing up in the family business and how everybody had agreed quite early that he wasn’t made for it. Time flew and before he knew it, Dean was finishing his third beer. 

He stretched, nestled into his side of the booth comfortably and put his empty bottle back on the table. “Man, what’s the deal with that waitress anyway?” 

Castiel looked at him, again tilting his head in that adorable confused way (and he really needed to stop calling Cas things like that in his head), “I beg your pardon? What waitress?”

“The one in the diner yesterday. She was totally flirting with you and since you’re a regular there, I guess it wasn’t the first time. But you didn’t even notice. She was pretty cute man; you should totally go for it!”

Cas looked shocked now and was blushing furiously. “Oh, uhm... I really... didn’t realize that. But... uhm... she isn’t really my type anyway, to be honest.“

“Oh, okay. Well, who is your type then? Take a look around, maybe we’ll find you a nice chick tonight.” Dean turned his head to let his gaze trail over the crowd. Somehow not one of the women seemed to be good enough for Cas in his eyes, but he hurried to pick a random one to point out to him, to not appear suspicious. “What about that one over there? She’s pretty.” He pointed at a petite girl with dark hair.

Castiel looked really uncomfortable now and shook his head. “No, as a matter of fact none of those women is ‘my type’,” Dean couldn’t help the small grin when his friend used the air quotes again, “I... uhm... I’m gay.” Cas had looked anywhere but at Dean while talking, but now he watched him with a scared look in his blue eyes, anxiously waiting for Dean’s reaction to this information. 

Dean blanked. He had absolutely not expected this. For a moment he just stared at Cas. He felt strangely... pleased? And for whatever reason relieved. He really didn’t know why and he really, _really_ didn’t want to think about that right now. But he also didn’t want Castiel to believe he was a homophobe or something like that, and he had the odd urge to wipe that scared look off of his friend’s face and to make sure it never returned. 

So he schooled his features, shrugged and let his gaze trail over the crowd again. “Oh, ok. Well, then let’s see if there are any hot guys in here.” He looked back at Cas and added, “Apart from us, that is,” with a wink. And damn it if the huge happy and very relieved smile Cas gave him wasn’t one of the most beautiful things Dean had ever seen.

 

 

The next four and a half weeks were some of the busiest, most socialized and – even if he was afraid to admit it to himself – happiest days of Castiel’s life. When they had parted that evening at the Roadhouse – neither one of them taking somebody home – he had been convinced he’d seen Dean for the last time. But to his everlasting astonishment, Dean had seemed very reluctant to say goodbye to him and had stuttered and blushed for a while, before finally asking Castiel for his phone number. “You know, so... uhm, we can talk or... go for lunch sometimes or... stuff like that,” he had stammered, rubbing the back of his neck.

Castiel wasn’t very good at reading body language but even he recognized Dean’s behavior as slightly embarrassed, though he had no idea why the man was acting like that. He was just overwhelmingly happy that Dean still wanted to be his friend. He had been absolutely terrified the other man would react badly when he had told him he was gay. Castiel was content with his sexuality, but he knew it would have broken his heart if Dean had been disgusted by it or something alike. 

So of course he didn’t hesitate one moment to nod and put the numbers into Dean’s phone when he handed it to him. The mechanic looked very relieved and gave him a big happy grin. “Thanks Cas! I’ll call you in the next few days, ok?” 

“Yes, Dean, that would be nice.” Castiel smiled back at him, still unable to believe his luck. They said goodbye after that, Cas once again choosing to walk home instead of sitting next to Dean in the confining car. 

His dreams that night had been dominated by bright green eyes, freckled skin and a beautiful smile. When he had awoken the next morning, he took a moment to just stare blindly up at his ceiling, thinking and remembering. He knew he was falling and he was falling fast and hard. But when he noticed the smile that was still on his face as a remnant of his dreams, he also knew that there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was just so delighted to get to spend time with someone as wonderful as Dean Winchester and therefore was determined to enjoy every last minute of it, later devastating heartbreak be damned. 

Castiel was glad he didn’t have Dean’s number, so there was no pressure on him of taking the first step and calling the other man. He simply had to wait and hope that Dean wouldn’t change his mind and decide he was better off without an anxious man like Castiel in his life. 

Hence he was very surprised and endlessly relieved when he got a text message from a strange number that evening which turned out to be Dean’s.

 

   From [ **Unknown]** , 7:45p.m. : _Hey, you got home ok last night? Whatcha doin? I just_ _got home. Dean_

 

Castiel read and reread the message several times. He really hadn’t expected to hear from Dean so soon. He hurried to save the number into his phone and to answer him.

 

**[Me]** , 7:50p.m. : _Hello Dean. I got home safe, thank you for asking. I am at home_ _reading and eating at the moment. How was your day? Cas_

 

He had taken a moment to debate whether he should write ‘Cas’ or ‘Castiel’ and had chosen the nickname in the end. He didn’t have to wait for a reply long.

 

From [ **Dean]** , 7:51p.m. : _Day was great, got an old mustang in to buildup, gonna be_ _fun. Wanna have lunch tomorrow?_

 

Castiel nearly dropped his phone. Dean really wanted to meet him again so soon? He quickly replied that of course he would like that and they agreed on a time and a place, a little diner near Castiel’s workplace, since he didn’t have a car.

 

Following that very pleasant meal, they met every day and spent their lunch break together, usually at some diner in walking distance from Cas’ office, but today, Wednesday, four weeks later, Dean had sent a text two hours prior and asked Cas to meet at a nearby park. Castiel was a little confused about that, but he had learned to not question Dean’s ideas and to just go along with them. That’s why Castiel entered Milton Park at ten past 1p.m. and went looking for his friend. 

There was an area with tables near the lake and Dean had texted to meet him there. Sure enough, as soon as he came close, he spotted Dean sitting at the table closest to the water, a huge basket next to him. Dean didn’t notice Castiel; he was busy feeding seeds to the ducks, so Cas took a moment just watching him.

He was amazed by the other man’s beauty every time he saw him. Every night he managed to convince himself that his memory was playing tricks on him, that no human being could possibly be as perfect as Dean Winchester was in Castiel’s head. And every day it was like a punch to the stomach that took all of his breath away for a long moment, when he saw him and realized, that yes, his memory was playing tricks on him, but the other way round. Dean Winchester was even more perfect in reality than in Cas’ mind. 

It was not only his good looks. It was his kindness, his fierce protectiveness for the people he cared about, his compassion, his humor and intelligence, the astounding fact that he didn’t seem to grow tired of Cas although seeing him nearly daily and of course Castiel’s favorite part of every day he saw Dean – the wide smile of pure happiness that spread over Dean’s face every time he spotted Cas. Castiel liked to think of it as his own special smile, since he hadn’t seen Dean give it to anybody else. But although he could hardly wait to see it again, he stood completely still and just watched.

This moment, standing there and studying Dean, was one of very few occasions Castiel allowed himself to stop repressing the reality of his feelings. He was deeply, hopelessly in love with him. But he was determined to never let the other man know, because he was terrified that it would end their friendship. Castiel was sure Dean would treat him differently, wouldn’t be so comfortable and carefree around him if he knew and this would ultimately result in them going their separate ways. 

Therefore Castiel always did his best to hide his feelings and pretend that Dean was just a regular friend to him. He had no idea if he was doing a good job at it, but Dean at least didn’t seem to suspect anything. 

After one or two minutes Castiel decided the danger that Dean would catch him staring was getting too big, so he continued to slowly approach his friend. “Hello Dean.” 

The addressed looked up and immediately broke out into the happy smile Cas had been waiting to see all day. “Hey Cas. You good?” 

“Yes I am, thank you. What about you?” Castiel sat down at the table opposite from Dean.

“I’m great. I actually got the day off, so I used the free time and did a little cooking and I wondered if you might like to try it?” Dean scratched his neck a little self-consciously. 

Castiel stared at his friend wide-eyed. “You... cooked?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, blushing a little, “I love to cook for fun and whatever I want and not to make up the five-hundredth new kind of macaroni to feed my baby brother without money.” He managed to take the sad edge out of the words with a crooked smile. “Normally I don’t cook often or a lot, since there’s no-one to eat it, but today I thought ‘Hey, I can make Cas eat it all!’ and I guess I got a little carried away after that...” He trailed off, grinning, and he opened the huge basket on the table.

Castiel couldn’t quite believe his eyes when he spotted what Dean had packed into the picnic basket and started unpacking now. There was cold chicken, sandwiches, potato salad, a few slices of pizza, all ingredients needed for burgers, including several great smelling sauces and to top it all, to perfectly brown pies. “Cherry and blueberry,” Dean mumbled. Then he looked up and saw the awe on Cas’ face, what instantly made him blush again. “I know, it’s a bit much. Don’t worry, you really don’t have to eat it all,” he said, then started laughing when he spotted the relief on Castiel’s face. 

After that they were silent for a while, Cas happily digging in and trying everything Dean had brought. Like he already had suspected, everything was absolutely delicious, so he had no choice but to add another point to the list of undeniable reasons to be helplessly in love with Dean Winchester.

It took Castiel a while to notice that his friend wasn’t eating. He had been completely absorbed in the amazing food, and when he looked up now and found the other man staring at him wide eyed, Castiel felt himself blush furiously and hurried to wipe his mouth. 

He knew, thanks to Gabriel, that he sometimes made inappropriate noises while eating and judging by the near-horror on Dean’s face, he figured he had done it again. Cas cleared his throat awkwardly, “Uhm, did I...? Sorry, I tend to lose myself sometimes while eating something really amazing. And to be fair, this food is incredible! I’m just sorry that I have neither the time nor the capacities to eat all of it. Come to think of it, that actually _is_ really heartbreaking.” Castiel did his best to look heartbroken and devastated, he even clutched his heart. 

This little show managed to break whatever tension there was and Dean burst out laughing. Cas grinned into his burger. He absolutely loved this sound and how it transformed Dean’s face. He was beautiful under normal circumstances but now, laughing so carefree, he was completely breathtaking.

“I’m glad you like it,” Dean said, “if you want, you can take the rest home with you. You wanna come over to my place some time? I could cook a reasonable amount of food and you could eat it without watching the clock.”

Cas smiled at Dean, happy like always when Dean wanted to spend additional time with him. “That sounds like a very good idea, I would like that.” 

“Great,” Dean grinned, “Friday, seven p.m.?” 

“Perfect.” Castiel was very happy about the prospect of spending a Friday night with somebody else and not alone at home like usual. 

Since Cas’ lunch break was nearly over by now, they packed the rest of the picnic back into the basket and Dean insisted that Cas should take the whole thing back home. They quickly arranged where they wanted to eat the next day and then Cas hurried off, a big smile on his face and the big basket in his hand.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Dean was freaking out. In ten minutes Cas would be there and dinner was far from ready. He also hadn’t had time to take a shower, change his clothes or even tidy up his house. Why had he invited Castiel to dinner? Of course Dean knew why, although he was very careful to not think about the real reason. It was the same reason why he had spent all Wednesday morning in his kitchen, obsessively cooking. 

He was extremely curious if his food would manage to get Cas to make these noises again. And he hadn’t been disappointed. On the contrary: Castiel had seemed totally lost in relishing the food and moaned even more than while eating at the Roadhouse. Dean had taken that as a big compliment, since he knew how great Ellen’s food was. 

But now he was under serious pressure. He had gotten stuck at work and then while cooking, he’d noticed that he was missing some vital ingredients for his mother’s pot roast, what was why he spontaneously had to change the recipe and had now absolutely no idea how this thing would taste. All in all it had been an absolutely terrible idea to invite Cas over on a work day. 

Just when Dean had worked himself into a serious fit, the bell rang and to his astonishment, he felt the stress melt away and a swarm of happy butterflies fluttering through his stomach. Cas was here. Fuck missing ingredients and bad timing and possibly horrible tasting food, fuck dirty clothes and grease all over his face. He knew that they would have a great evening nonetheless. 

He hurried to open the door and let Cas in. He looked great in his black suit and tie, his trench coat over one arm. “Hey, buddy, come in.” Dean took the coat and hung into the closet. “Well look at you, all dressed up in your fancy suit,” he winked at his friend.

“Hello Dean. I’m sorry; I didn’t get off of work and came here directly, so I didn’t have time to change.” He looked at Dean a little sheepishly and if that wasn’t the most adorable thing Dean had ever seen... 

Dean forced himself to stop staring and tried to wipe off the soft smile he knew was on his face and replace it with a big grin. “Well, that makes two of us,” he laughed, gesturing down his greasy clothes. “Speaking of which, now you’re here, I guess I’ll hit the shower. Could you watch the oven maybe? You don’t need to do anything, just make sure the house doesn’t burn down.” He had led Cas into the kitchen and positioned him at the table, glass of wine before him, “Be right back.” 

Dean quickly fetched fresh clothes from his bedroom and went into the shower, carefully not thinking about fluttery feeling that was still in his stomach and increased every time his thoughts wandered to the man in his kitchen. He forced himself to finish his shower quickly, get dressed and return to the kitchen without checking his appearance first. 

Castiel was standing in front of Dean’s picture wall, back to the door, wine glass in hand, studying Dean’s collection of family photos. For a moment Dean just stood there and watched. For some reason it was great to see Cas like this; relaxed, content and in Dean’s home. He had shed his suit jacket and it looked like he had loosened his tie, too and Dean couldn’t help but think that Cas looked like he’d just gotten home from work on a normal day. He looked like he _belonged_ into Dean’s kitchen, his house, his life. 

Without realizing it, he started walking towards Cas, who was so occupied with the pictures he didn’t notice him. He jumped a little when Dean was suddenly next to him, reaching for the photo Castiel had been looking at. It was the picture of a young blonde woman, sitting in the grass under a tree. “That’s my mom. The only photo we’ve got of her alone.” 

He handed the frame to Cas, who took a moment to study it and then put it back on its nail, smiled and said, “She’s beautiful.” 

Dean looked at his friend and smiled, then quickly turned back to the wall. “Yeah, she was. This one was taken when I was two, way before Sammy was born. And that one’s my favorite.” He took a small frame off the wall and held it so Cas could look at the picture with him. It showed the blonde woman under the same tree like the first picture, but now there was a little boy next to her, who was holding a baby. The boy was looking down at the baby in his arms, eyes full of wonder and the woman watched her sons lovingly. “It was taken the day they brought Sammy home. Look how tiny he was.” Dean chuckled. “It’s the only picture of us three we’ve got. Everything else was lost in the fire.”

“She clearly loved you very much.” Castiel said softly. 

“Yes she did. That’s the thing I remember the most. This pure, unconditional, warm love. I miss that.” Dean could feel the tears welling up, but could do nothing to stop them. “And she and my dad, they were so in love. Of course, they had their problems and fights, everybody has. But when my dad talked about her later, it always seemed like this epic, perfect love story. Growing up with these stories, I guess you can’t help but idolize it and unconsciously start looking for something like that too...” He trailed off, still staring at the photo and to his embarrassment felt a single tear slipping down his face. 

“You will have that, too,” Castiel said softly. 

Dean finally tore his gaze off of his mother’s face and looked at his friend. “You think?” He could hear the doubt in his own voice. 

“Of course, Dean. If this is what you really want in your life, then I’m sure you will find it someday.” Cas smiled at him and reached his hand out towards his face. Only then Dean realized just how close they were standing. He unintentionally held his breath when Castiel’s hand touched his face, using his thumb to gently wipe Dean’s tear away. Dean didn’t move, he didn’t do anything; he just stood there and stared into Cas’ eyes, while the other man stared back, the soft smile still on his lips and his hand still cupping Dean’s face. 

Suddenly it became too much for Dean. He felt on the verge of doing something incredibly stupid, like _lean_ into the touch or something worse. So he did the only thing that came to his mind in such situations and he hated himself for it before he even opened his mouth. 

“Yeah, you’re right!” he barked out, forcing a grin onto his face, what made Cas pull his hand back. “I don’t even know if I want that! Actually my life is pretty perfect as it is. No strings, no responsibilities. And besides, it would be totally unfair to all the other ladies, to restrict access to this, wouldn’t it?” he winked and gestured to his body. 

Castiel smiled and nodded, “Absolutely,” and Dean was sure that the shadow and short blink of disappointment on his face had just been his imagination. 

“Well, anyway. Enough with the chick flick moments!” he said, hanging the picture back on the wall. “I guess dinner’s ready. Take a seat, let’s eat!” Dean quickly stumbled to the oven, taking a few deep breaths to compose himself. The pot roast smelled delicious and he desperately hoped it would taste that way, too. 

“I hope you like pot roast. I had to improvise a little bit, ‘cause I had no time for shopping, but I guess it’ll be okay.” He put the pot on the table in front of his friend, then went to fetch the potatoes and salad. 

“Mmmh...” Cas inhaled deeply. “If the smell is any indication, it will be amazing.”

Dean blushed and grinned, relieved that the mood was returning to normal. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He knew he was a good cook and had every right to be proud of it. But it somehow seemed especially important to him that Cas thought so too. He sat down opposite of Castiel, refilled both of their wine glasses and smiled. “Dig in.” 

The food was great. Dean was very nearly moaning himself, but to his immense satisfaction Cas wasn’t able to hold his enthusiasm in. “Oh my god, Dean! That is incredible! Where did you learn to cook like that? Ohh...” Cas managed to purr between mouthfuls of food. 

Dean was thankful for the question, since it distracted him from the noises Cas made and his own body’s reaction to them. He smirked, pleased about the success of his cooking. “I didn’t really learn it anywhere. I one day started to cook things out of my mom’s cookbook and sort of went from there.” 

For the next hour they happily stuffed themselves with food – Cas had brought an apple pie, made by Gabriel, for dessert – and talked about everything that came to mind. But when Cas didn’t get a _Star Wars_ reference for the third time, Dean had enough. “Okay, that’s it dude! We’re gonna watch Star Wars. Now! Grab your plate and the glass, we’re moving to the couch.”

Castiel laughed, but complied immediately. Dean carried the rest of the pie and a new bottle of wine to the living room, where he put the DVD in before he fetched his plate and glass and sat next to Castiel on the couch. “Pay attention now! You’re gonna watch one of the best movies of all time. It was released 1977, but it retains its status up to this day.” 

They fell silent after that. Now and then Dean sneaked a glance at his friend and was incredibly pleased to see that Castiel was completely riveted by the film.

Dean couldn’t really enjoy the movie, because he wasn’t able to ignore the fact that they were sitting so close their shoulders and thighs brushed every time one of them leaned forward to pick up his glass or eat some pie. Castiel seemed entirely unfazed by that, but Dean felt a rush of adrenaline every time. 

So, naturally, stupid masochist that he was, he took plenty of sips of his wine and when he went to replace the empty bottle one hour into the film, he carefully sat back onto the same spot as before. He told himself that he only did this to try and figure out what all of this was about, but when the end credits rolled and Cas turned to look at him with a happy and excited expression, he promptly forgot to breath and was nowhere closer to know why, than before. 

“Dean! That was amazing! And there are more of them? Can we watch them too?” 

The mechanic couldn’t help but laugh loudly. “I knew you’d love it! Of course we can watch the other parts. But...” he took a glance at his watch, “it’s one in the morning already. Maybe we should do that some other time. We don’t wanna miss going to the shelter tomorrow morning after all.”

Cas looked totally shocked at that. “So late? Oh god, you’re right. I’ll call a cab immediately. Hopefully I won’t oversleep tomorrow morning.” Cas leapt from the sofa to fetch his cell phone, but without thinking Dean reached out and quickly grabbed his wrist. 

“Wait. Cas, that’s ridiculous. It’s Friday night, it’s gonna take forever to get a cab now. You can stay here, the couch is pretty comfortable to sleep on and I’d be happy to do it. We can drive to the shelter together in the morning, makes more sense anyway.” 

Castiel just stared at him, unbelieving but also considering. “But... I can’t just stay here. I have no other clothes with me and I can’t possibly keep wearing this suit for another day. And my cat, Jasper...”

Dean knew he wouldn’t do any of this if he hadn’t drunk the major part of three bottles of wine, but he couldn’t seem to bring himself to give a shit about that. “That’s no problem. You can have a shirt and sweats from me to sleep in and I’m sure I’ll find something you can wear tomorrow as well. I’m pretty sure the cats won’t mind if you don’t come in suit and tie a single time,” he winked. “Come on Cas, it’s ridiculous to try and call a cab now.” 

Castiel looked at him for a moment longer, then he suddenly yawned widely and they both had to laugh. “All right,” Cas smiled. “But I’m taking the couch.”

For a moment Dean considered objecting, but then decided against it. He knew that this probably wasn’t an easy situation for Cas, going this far out of his comfort zone and it was amazing he was even willing to do this. “Okay, I’m gonna get some clothes and a blanket for you.” 

He went to his closet, picked an old t-shirt and a pair of sweats, and then decided to get the clothes for tomorrow as well. He took his most comfortable pair of jeans and his favorite Led Zeppelin shirt, grabbed his own blanket off the bed and returned to the living room. “Here ya go. That’s for tomorrow. I’ll set the alarm. G’night Cas.” He smiled and left the room. 

At the door to his bedroom he had another thought and returned to the living room once more. “I forgot, towels are--”

He broke off and just stared, mouth hanging open awkwardly. Castiel stood in front of the couch, dressed in Dean’s sweat pants and his own, opened dress shirt, tie resting loosened on his naked chest. Dean’s eyes raked over smooth tanned skin, down to a flat stomach and a dark trail of hair that disappeared into the sweat pants, which were sitting very low on prominent hipbones and... was that a _tattoo_? There, just over the left hipbone was a tattoo of foreign looking symbols.

Dean’s eyes paused there for a moment, before they traveled back up, over the broad muscular chest and the slightly stubbled neck, over chapped lips, until they met deep blue eyes, staring back in surprise. That was what pulled him out of his haze and back into reality. Dean was absolutely horrified when he realized what had just happened and he blushed harder than ever before in his life. 

He quickly turned away, barely avoiding to slam face first into the doorframe and stuttered, “Oh god, uhm, I’m so sorry... uhm, I just... uhm, towels. They’re in the closet... in the, uhm, bathroom. Take what you need! Night!” he called, already half way back in his bedroom, where he slammed the door behind him, collapsing against it.

He took several deep breaths to calm himself, burying his face in his hands, still mortified. It took him nearly half an hour to convince himself that everything was fine, he had just been surprised and it was perfectly normal that he had taken a look at Cas’ body, he was good looking, after all. Nothing to worry about. And when he finally way lying in his bed, carefully not thinking about how great Cas would most likely be looking in his clothes the next day, he fell asleep rather quickly and absolutely didn’t dream about blue eyes and strange tattoos over gorgeous hipbones.

 

 

Castiel didn’t get much sleep that night. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Dean, standing in the doorway, staring at him with wide eyes and an expression Cas couldn’t place. Nobody had ever looked at him like that before, so the accountant was at a complete loss at what it meant. He was alternating between staring blankly at the ceiling and turning to his side, burying his face in the cozy blanket. It had a lovely scent, a mixture of detergent, fabric softener and... Dean. Had Dean given him his own blanket? 

Cas inhaled deeply, smiling to himself and relished in the thought that he was adding a tiny bit of his own scent to the mix. This made him think about Dean using the blanket again and the question if he would notice. This line of thought involuntarily led him back to earlier, to Dean’s gaze upon his body and the question of what it meant. Cas could only hope that Dean wasn’t mad at him or disgusted or something like that. 

Around six a.m. he gave up. He knew that Dean’s alarm would go off at seven o’clock, so he had enough time to take a shower and maybe even make some breakfast – or coffee, at least. He found the towels where Dean had told him he would and even a small collection of wrapped toothbrushes, but he preferred not to think about their purpose. He took his time, the shower working wonders in clearing his overtired head. Then he toweled himself down and put on the clothes Dean had given him. 

He had to admit that it was really comfortable to wear something different than a suit for a change. He knew it was stupid to go to the animal shelter in a suit, but he couldn’t help it. It was some kind of armor, it helped him feel safe. When he wore a suit, he was Castiel Lord, accountant, not just Cassie, shy and anxious. It wasn’t much, but it gave him at least a little bit of professional confidence he could hide behind. But when he spent time with Dean, he noticed this urge less and less often. 

And it was also really nice to wear another set of Dean’s clothes, even though they were a little large for him. He briefly tried to arrange his hair a bit, but it somehow ended up even messier than before, so he gave up. It was ridiculous, really. His hair was the one part of his appearance that never quite fit with his professional appearance. 

But it didn’t matter anyway. Even if his hair did what he wanted it to do, he would still be boring, plain Castiel and, of course, a man, what made him completely uninteresting to Dean anyway.

He mentally scolded himself for thinking like this, he could be thankful that Dean even wanted to be his friend. That was more than he had ever had before. With a deep sigh, Castiel looked at his watch, saw that Dean would get up soon, and he went to the kitchen to start making breakfast.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Dean woke to the sound of his alarm and the smell of coffee.  For one blessed moment, he was confused and didn’t know where it came from, but then he remembered that Castiel had slept on the couch and with that he also remembered what had happened the night before. He groaned and buried his face in his pillow. He would have preferred to hide in his bed the whole day, but since that most certainly would raise questions...

Grumbling he got up and put a shirt on over his pajama pants. He took a deep breath, mentally steeled himself – _Come on Winchester, don’t be ridiculous!_ – and went to the kitchen. 

When he opened the door he froze. Castiel stood in front of a cupboard and stretched his arm to reach something on the top shelf. This made his shirt – _Dean’s_ shirt! – slide up. Since Dean’s jeans were a little wide for Cas and sitting _very_ low on his hips, for a moment, all Dean could see was skin. Gorgeous, tanned, smooth skin. His brain went blank and his mouth dry. Then Cas grabbed the pancake mix from the shelf and put his arms down, turning to Dean.

“Hello Dean,” he smiled. “Did you sleep well? I thought I’d try and make breakfast.” His smile turned a little shy and then he apparently noticed that Dean was simply staring at him and he fell silent. That pulled Dean out of his daze and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Uhm, that’s great, thanks,” he stuttered and before he could stop himself he added, “You, uhm, your tattoo... What... uhm...?” he trailed off.

“Oh!” Cas looked down blushing. Then he lifted the hem of his shirt until the tattoo was visible completely. “I got it in college. It’s an Enochian warding text to prevent your enemies from finding you. Enochian is supposed to be the language of the angels and Gabriel and I thought it kind of funny. He’s got one too.” 

Dean had taken a few steps closer to Cas and could now see the tattoo up close. It was beautiful; filigree letters Dean had never seen before formed a text on Castiel’s upper stomach, and Dean wanted to touch them, trace them with his fingers... Wait, _what_?! Why would he wanna do that? Hell, what the _fuck_ was wrong with him lately?!

He quickly took a step back and was slightly alarmed to notice that he had subconsciously extended his hand a little bit towards Cas already. He used it to rub the back of his neck and mumbled, “It’s pretty cool. I got a warding symbol too.” He pulled down his collar to show Castiel the pentagram on his chest. “It’s supposed to keep evil from entering your body. Sam’s got the same.” 

Cas traced the tattoo with his eyes and smiled at Dean. “I like it. It seems we share a little fondness for the supernatural.”

Dean nodded and grinned back sheepishly and for a few moments the just looked and smiled at each other. Then Dean’s stomach rumbled and he chuckled. “So, uhm... breakfast?” 

They made breakfast together, working around each other in pleasant silence, Cas making pancakes while Dean fried some bacon. After they’d eaten and Dean had taken a quick shower, they drove to the animal shelter. It was the fifth or sixth time Dean was there, he didn’t know the exact number, but he was still surprised about himself every time, that it didn’t even occur to him to maybe skip this week. It had become a settled date he looked forward to every week. He loved spending time with the cats and having the feeling of doing some good; it also was really great seeing Cas with the animals. He was completely relaxed, calm, no trace of anxiety; it was a whole new side of him and Dean was happy that his friend had a place where he felt so content.

Sitting in the floor in the cat house, stroking two cats at once and watching Cas cleaning the litter boxes, Dean marveled at how important Castiel had become to him over the last weeks. He was one of his best friends, they spent an enormous amount of time together and still Dean didn’t feel like it was too much or he needed a break. On the contrary – he really wanted Cas to meet the rest of his friends, so they could all hang out together now and then. Castiel simply was too great to have no other friend than Dean. 

“Hey Cas?” 

“Yes Dean?” Castiel looked up from his work and damn! He really looked gorgeous in Dean’s clothes.

“Uhm...” Those damn thoughts made Dean stumble over his words again. “I was wondering... Next Saturday, Sam and I wanna go out with some friends and... uhm... I was wondering if you maybe... would like to come with. I don’t know if it’s too much and you really don’t have to if you don’t want, but I thought... maybe... They’re all really nice and you can bring Gabe if you like - and I know Sam’d be thrilled to see you again and you already know Jo and...” All of this had come out in one big rush of words, but now Dean ran out of them and he just stuttered awkwardly. When he looked back up at his friend, he saw that Cas was smiling softly at him. 

“Dean.” Castiel seized the opportunity to finally say something. “I would love that. It’s really thoughtful of you to consider my anxieties, but I think with you there – and Gabriel as well,” he quickly added and Dean was sure he was blushing faintly, “I believe I will manage. I just hope your friends won’t find me too weird.” He looked a little worried now.

“Bullshit! You’re not weird, you’re awesome Cas! Just like me, they’ll lov-- like you!” Now Dean was the one blushing, but he held Castiel’s gaze, determined to make sure the other man stopped thinking bad about himself. The beautiful smile Cas gave him in return was a great reward. 

“Good, that’s settled then. Okay, totally different topic: can I get your opinion on something?” 

Castiel smiled at him again before he went back to his work. “Of course, Dean.” 

“So, I was thinking, what if I’d adopt a cat...” 

Cas’ head sprang back up and he looked at Dean wide-eyed. Dean just grinned. He had been toying with this idea ever since the first time he was at the shelter and a little red tabby climbed his lap. They just sort of... clicked,  and she had spent all day by his side and kept doing it every time he was there. And when he had learned her name... it felt a little bit like destiny. “I’ve never really been a cat-person, but with Mary... Even apart from her perfect name, I just have the feeling, that we would make a great team. Whaddaya think?”

A dazzling smile spread over Castiel’s face. “Dean, I think that’s a wonderful idea! You two are made for each other, without a doubt.” 

Dean smiled at his friend and then looked down at Mary, who was curled up in a ball in his lap. He ruffled the fur between her ears and whispered, “Hear that princess? Wanna come home with me?” He briefly glanced up at Cas and saw that the other man was still sitting in the other side of the room watching him. Dean quickly looked down again, sure that the fond smile on Castiel’s face was only because of Mary. 

He began the adoption process that day. They all agreed it would be best if he came to pick up Mary on Sunday the next week. That gave him enough time to go shopping and make his house ready for a cat. Castiel agreed to come with him to give advice what Dean would need. 

So the next Tuesday after work, they met at the mall, much to Dean’s horror; but Cas was persistent that the pet shop there was the best he knew. The mall was packed with teenagers and stressed out parents and Dean felt very, _very_ uncomfortable.

Castiel was unfazed; as long as he didn’t have to interact with people, he obviously had no problem with them. They quickly made their way through the crowd to the shop. There Castiel was clearly in his element. He showed stuff to Dean, gave his opinion on different brands of things, explained how various items worked and pretty much made the shop assistants redundant. Dean was delighted to see this side of his friend and did his best to encourage him further. 

“So, what about this stuff?” he asked, a can of cat food in his hand. “I think I’ve seen a lot of commercials for it.” 

Castiel walked over from where he had been examining two different carriers. “No Dean, don’t buy this brand.” He said after a quick glance at the can in Dean’s hand. “It’s full of sugar, grain and butchering by-products, everything that’s bad for cats. I would recommend this brand.” He picked up another can and held it out to Dean. “That’s what I feed to Jasper and he is responding very well to it.” 

Dean smiled at his friend. “Thanks Cas, I’m glad you’re here to keep me from poisoning my future cat.” 

Quickly his cart was filled with everything, from a litter box and a carrier, to a cat bed, a wide range of toys and plenty of premium cat food. Dean basically spent the time nodding to Cas’ explanations, packing everything in the cart and smiling fondly at his friend. For once, he didn’t even care about the ‘Oh you two are so cute’ smiles the shop clerks shot at them. He was absolutely amazed how confident and comfortable Cas was and he just wanted to savor every second of seeing him like that, other people’s impression be damned. 

The rest of the week passed in the nice little routine they had developed. Dean and Cas met for lunch, Wednesday evening he visited Sam and Jo and on Friday at seven p.m. he waited for Castiel to come to dinner.

This time Dean was better prepared. Since Sam had started eating all this healthy stuff, Dean had tried many ‘power food’ recipes and one of these experiments had been a raw kale salad with tomatoes and roasted pine nuts - and to his everlasting astonishment, Dean had actually really liked it. 

Since the kale had to marinate in the dressing for a while, he had been able to make the salad Thursday night already, and because it was a really nice and warm evening, he had decided to put some steaks on the grill. 

The table in the garden was already set and the fire was burning when Castiel arrived. He had a duffle bag slung over one shoulder and blushed when Dean looked at it and chuckled.

“You... uhm... you said...” Cas stuttered.

“Hey Cas, calm down. Everything’s ok, I know I said you should bring clothes. Of course you’re staying again. Come through to the garden. How do you like your steak?” Dean had started to walk towards the back door already and looked back over his shoulder now. To his relief, Castiel was smiling and put his bag down.

“Medium rare please,” he said as he started following Dean. “This is really beautiful Dean.” Castiel stood in the middle of the garden and looked around.

“Yeah, I was lucky to get this house. When Sam left for Stanford, Bobby helped me buy it. I wanted Sammy to have a place to come home to. He lived here ‘till 6 months ago, then he and Jo got their own place together. His room is full of boxes though, so you’ll have to sleep on the couch again.” 

“That’s okay. I really don’t mind, it’s quite comfortable.” 

While they talked, Dean grilled the steaks and potatoes. When the food was done, Dean and Cas sat down at the table. 

For a few minutes there was silence while they ate. But then Castiel apparently couldn’t stop himself any longer. “Oh god, Dean, that is magnificent. This salad... Is this kale? It’s delicious.”

Dean grinned proudly at him. “Glad you like it. The steak ok too?” 

“Yes, it’s perfect!” he sighed. That sound went directly south and Dean felt himself flush crimson. He cleared his throat awkwardly and desperately racked his brain for something to talk about. His eyes travelled over the man on the opposite side of the table, and got stuck on the place where he knew the tattooed sigil was hidden beneath the blue button down shirt Cas was wearing – the same shirt his friend had been wearing that first evening at the Roadhouse, the one that perfectly emphasized his eyes.

Dean shook himself out of those sappy reveries. “Uhm, Cas what I wanted to ask... if you don’t mind of course! Your tattoo, did you have a specific reason for choosing a warding sigil? Doesn’t seem random to me. See, me and Sam, we always felt like something bad had taken over our dad and changed him, so we kinda thought it would be a good idea to get a protective tattoo. Pretty superstitious and kinda stupid, but...” He trailed off, a little embarrassed.   He didn’t often tell this to people.

But Cas smiled softly at him, “I don’t think that is stupid at all. Actually, my reason is quite similar. When I was in college, I had a relationship with a man named Bartholomew. For a few months it was great, I was really happy. But then he slowly started to change. He became controlling and after a while - he even hit me once or twice when I didn’t behave to his liking. Needless to say, I went through the whole cliché program – lying to my family, finding excuses, forgiving him only this one time, then the next time again - and so on. My anxieties only made the situation worse and in return they also got much worse. After a few months I barely even left the house in fear of causing another outburst.”

Castiel paused and took a deep breath. Dean had gone completely still while Cas talked. He was staring wide eyed at his friend, clutching his cutlery so tight his knuckles had gone white.

While Cas had been telling his story, Dean’s emotions had changed from a sharp burst of completely idiotic jealousy at the mentioning of a past relationship, to shock and by now he was overcome by pure white rage. He wanted to find this guy and give him a good long taste of his own medicine. How could anybody hurt such a kind, wonderful person like Castiel?

When Dean looked up at Cas, he saw he was shaking - and even had to wipe away a tear.

Dean quickly laid down his fork and without thinking, reached over the table for Castiel’s hand, which was clutching the edge. Ignoring the surge of electricity that shot through his body at the touch, Dean put his hand on top of his friend’s.

“Cas, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. You really don’t need to go on.” 

The other man turned his unbelievably blue eyes up at him and smiled a tiny smile. “Thank you, Dean, but it’s okay. It’s good to talk about this. Liberating.” He took another deep breath, a much calmer one this time, and went on. “I had stopped going to my classes and my future was in real danger and then, one day, Gabriel stood in front of the door. He forced me to let him in and didn’t give up until I told him the whole truth. He immediately packed up all my things and made me go with him.

“I talked to Bartholomew on the phone that evening, telling him I wouldn’t come back. Well, to make a long story short, he didn’t like it very much. He threatened me, tried to find me and called countless times a day.

“And one day, he just stopped. I saw him one or two times on campus when I finally found the courage to go back to class, but he barely looked at me and quickly walked the other way. A few weeks later he graduated and I never saw him again or got to know why he suddenly stopped harassing me, but I suspect my brothers had something to do with it. 

“But, of course, my fear didn’t just vanish with him. For a very long time I was scared he would come back and find me. Gabriel was a great help throughout all of this. One night we got drunk and he had the idea that I should get a tattoo to help me cope with everything, something that gave me strength. In one of my books about angels he found that sigil that hides you from your enemies. It was perfect and since he and I were together very often during that time, Gabriel insisted on getting the tattoo, too.” 

Cas gave Dean a shaky smile, and continued, “The weirdest thing about all of this though, is that it really helped. My anxieties aren’t gone and I have problems trusting people since that time, but... Ever since I got the tattoo, I actually felt saver.” 

His smile was more stable now and for a very long moment, all Dean could do was smile back while he stared into those deep pools of blue, admiring the fact that although this man had been through such a horrible experience, he still was this kind and caring person. Dean felt honored that Castiel trusted him enough to tell him his story, and to sit here with him, his hand still cupped by Dean’s, but resting calmly on the table now. If he were to flip his hand, they would be holding hands and--

Dean’s thoughts screeched to a halt at that. He just barely resisted the urge to yank his hand back. Instead he cleared his throat and slowly pulled his hand back and his eyes away.

He swallowed to try and get rid of the lump in his throat, and then he looked back up at Cas. “Cas,” he breathed, “I don’t know what to say. That’s horrible, I’m so sorry you had to go through something like that! And I’m really glad you pulled through so well. Thank you for telling me this.”

He smiled at his friend for another moment before he looked back on the table and grabbed his fork to start eating again. While cutting his steak, he couldn’t help but mutter, “But this guy better never cross my path or he’ll seriously regret it.” When he glanced at Castiel and saw him shake his head lightly and smile fondly down at is plate, he knew he’d heard him, but he obviously didn’t really mind.

They spent the rest of the meal talking about lighter topics, like Dean’s excitement about picking up Mary on Sunday, Gabriel’s newest girlfriend Kali, the book Castiel had finished a few days back or the car Dean was currently working on.

When they were both so full they could barely move, they grabbed their beers and moved inside to watch _The Empire Strikes Back_. Cas seemed to be enjoying it very much and Dean spent most of the time watching his friend’s fascinated and delighted face, happy to finally have another friend besides Charlie to geek out with. He made a mental a list of movies he wanted to make Castiel watch once they were through with Star Wars. Dean was fairly certain that Charlie and Cas would absolutely love each other, and couldn’t wait for them to meet the next day.

When they went to sleep that night, Dean once again gave his own blanket to Castiel. And when they said goodnight and Dean went to his bedroom, he absolutely wasn’t disappointed that Cas wouldn’t be wearing Dean’s clothes to sleep or the next day. Absolutely not. Why would he be? 

The next morning went as usual. They spent a few hours at the animal shelter and went to the little diner afterwards for lunch. Then Dean drove home and Cas walked, as usual. The difference was that they didn’t say goodbye for the weekend, but merely “See you later.” Dean had offered to pick up Cas and Gabe later, but they preferred to take Gabriel’s car.

Dean was pretty excited for the evening. He knew that Castiel and his friends would get along great (if the same would be true for Gabriel was the better question, but that was not really his concern), but he was still a little scared, it would be too much for his friend.

At ten minutes past eight, Dean parked the Impala in the lot of ‘Rufus’, the bar he and his friends usually met at. It belonged to Rufus Turner, an old friend of Bobby’s, and was the perfect place for a Saturday night. 

As Dean had expected, Castiel and Gabriel were standing next to the door of the bar, apparently waiting for him. He had been sure that Cas wouldn’t go in without him, and couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto his face at that thought. He noticed that Cas looked a little anxious, but that look was replaced instantly by a beautiful smile when he saw Dean approaching.

“Hey you two. Been waiting long?”

“Hello Dean. No, we only just got here,” Cas said with this tiny half-smile he often wore.

“Yeah, forty minutes ago!” Gabriel chimed in fake annoyance. “Cassie made me arrive half an hour early, then we had to sit in the car so that none of your friends would see us when they went inside, because we ‘ _have to wait for Dean!’_ \- and now we’ve been standing here like idiots for the last ten minutes. Can we just go in already? I really need a drink!”

Castiel was staring at his brother with a completely horrified expression on his face. “Ga--” He broke off, obviously too shocked to form words. 

Dean glared at Gabriel, annoyed at him for making Cas uncomfortable. The blonde man just grinned and winked at him. Dean turned to face Castiel and smiled at his friend. “Well, I’m glad you waited. Sorry for being late. Come on, let’s go in.” 

He saw Gabriel roll his eyes, but ignored him, quickly slapped Castiel on the shoulder and entered the bar, while the other two followed.

As usual, his friends were there already, Charlie and Jo waving cheerfully when they saw him. Dean greeted every one of them, laughing at Charlie’s euphoric hug. Then he watched her fondly as she turned to Cas and hugged him too. Dean had warned the accountant about Charlie’s tendency to getting overly excited, so he didn’t worry too much about him when the redhead started talking.

“Hey, you must be Castiel! I’m Charlie. It’s so great to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you these past weeks, it almost feels as if I already knew you.”

Then she hugged him again, while Cas just stuttered something that sounded like “You too.” Dean had blushed furiously at Charlie’s mentioning of him talking about Cas so much - and Gabriel’s snort didn’t really help.

When Benny, Jo and Sam had greeted Cas and Gabe as well, they all headed over to the pool table they had booked for the night. Dean volunteered to get them drinks and asked Castiel to help him carry everything.

When they waited at the bar for the drinks, Dean looked at Cas. When he turned towards Dean, Dean asked, “You ok? I know Charlie can be a little overwhelming, I just hope...”

Castiel interrupted him, “No, Dean, I’m good. Charlie seems like a wonderful person, all of them do. And you warned me, so I was prepared for her. It is actually really nice. I don’t think anybody was ever this happy to meet me!” He grinned and Dean couldn’t help but laugh.

They smiled at each other for a few moments. “So, how good are you at pool?” Dean asked Cas, looking over to their table where the rest of their group already set up the game.

“Well, I’ve never played before, so unless I turn out to be a natural, I would think not very.”

“Don’t worry, I’m a pro. I’m gonna teach you some tricks,” Dean laughed. At that moment the barkeeper handed them their drinks and they returned to the group.

It turned out Cas really was a natural at pool. Dean had shown him the basics of the game and now, an hour later, he played against Benny, totally crushing him, while Charlie, Jo and Gabe stood on the side cheering. Dean and Sam had gone to the bar to get another round of drinks, but Dean hadn’t paid any attention to the barkeeper yet, he was just watching the game from afar, a proud look on his face.

“So, what do you think?” Dean asked. “Cas fits pretty well into the group, doesn’t he? And he doesn’t seem to be too stressed by the whole thing, does he?” Dean finally looking at Sam quizzically.

Sam looked back with a strange look on his face, which Dean couldn’t place. “Yeah, I guess he manages. And of course he fits in; he’s a great guy, Dean. What is the deal with you two anyway?”

“What do you mean?” Dean seriously had no idea what Sam was talking about.

“Come on Dean, something is going on between you, I just don’t know what it is.” 

“There is nothing going on! We’re just normal friends.” The older Winchester looked at his brother, now completely confused.

“Normal friends? Dean, you constantly stare at each other, you spend almost every day together and you’ve been fussing over him all evening like a concerned boyfriend. And you wanna tell me there’s absolutely nothing going on? Come on!”

“Sam, what are you implying? It almost sounds like you think Cas and I have a secret relationship or something like that, but since we both know perfectly well that I am not gay, that can’t be it.” Dean was looking angry now. “I am _not_ gay Sam!”

“I never said you were! But you know there’s more than straight and gay, right? I actually always thought of you as bisexual, to be honest.”

“Wait, what?” Dean scowled. “Are you serious? Since when?”

“Uhm... Puberty?!” Sam shrugged his shoulders. Dean could just stare open-mouthed. “Dean, listen, it doesn’t matter. Even if you hadn’t been checking out guys all you life – but you totally have, even if you didn’t realize it! – it wouldn’t mean that you couldn’t still fall for one special person. You never were a cat person before, but you fell for Mary anyway. We don’t have to make everything about categories and labels. If you love somebody, their gender doesn’t matter.”

Dean still stared at his brother. “I... I don’t even know what to say to that. I...” He broke off, looking down at his beer.

“You don’t have to say anything Dean. Just think about it. Really think. And know that you don’t have to be scared, and I’m okay with it.”

“Yeah, uhm...” Dean rubbed his face with both his hands. “Sammy, if you don’t mind, I think I need a few minutes.”

“Of course. I’ll take the drinks back to the table, you take your time. But try not to freak out, okay?”

When Dean nodded, Sam left him alone.

Dean watched Sam arrive at the table, he saw Cas talking to Sam, obviously asking where Dean was while taking his glass of Coke. Dean quickly looked away and turned around before he could see Castiel’s worried face.

Dean fell heavily onto a barstool and took a big gulp of his beer. Of course Cas would be worried. He was always worrying about Dean’s wellbeing and about other people that were close to him, about the animals at the shelter – hell, he had even been worried about the waitress at the diner they ate their Saturday lunch at, after Dean had told him that she was into him. Because that’s what he did, that’s what he was – an incredibly caring person, always striving to help other people.

Could Dean really have... feelings for him?

No, of course not! They were just close friends! He had to stop letting Sam mess with his head. He was 100% straight, and all these lingering stares and those strange thoughts and feelings he’d been having lately didn’t mean _anything_.

Dean groaned and buried his head in his hands. He really didn’t wanna think any further about this. He wasn’t interested in Cas that way, period! And even if he would be – but he wasn’t! – why would Cas be interested in him? He was nothing special, just a no-good mechanic with a crappy relationship record and all in all absolutely not good enough for someone as great as Castiel.

No, there was no need to keep thinking about this stuff. It was idiotic to listen to Sam anyway. He would just keep sitting here a little longer, drink a few snifters and then return to the others and have a good time with his friends.

He looked up at the barkeeper. “Whiskey.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

**[Me]** , 7:34p.m. : _Hey Samsquatch, remember how we talked about your brother being_ _an idiot last night? Apparently he felt the need to prove us right_

 

From [ **Sam]** , 7:40p.m. : _Oh no! What did he do?_

**[Me]** , 7:41p.m. : _I don’t know exactly, but Cassie’s acted really weird since he came_ _home from picking up the cat with Dean. He’s grumpy, snapping at_ _me for no reason and now he’s hiding in his bed cuddling with his_ _cat. He hasn’t been this way since before we’ve met you 2_

 

From [ **Sam]** , 7:44p.m. : _Great! That doesn’t sound good. Maybe I’ll talk to Dean, try_ _and get him to tell me what happened._

**[Me]** , 7:47p.m. _: Nah, I’ll go and try talking to Cassie first. I’ll keep you posted_

 

From [ **Sam]** , 7:49p.m. : _Okay, good luck!_

 

Gabriel put his phone down and looked at Castiel’s closed bedroom door.

 

Dean hadn’t come back to the pool table the night before. He just sat at the bar and drank whiskey. Gabriel had seen Castiel cast worried glances at him every few minutes, but the youngest Lord brother didn’t seem to dare to go over and talk to his friend. Gabe didn’t think that Cassie had any idea what was going on with his mechanic buddy, but Gabriel was fairly certain he knew it himself.

Earlier that evening Gabe and Sam had been standing next to the pool table, talking, and when they looked over at their brothers, they had been able to witness firsthand Dean and Cas demonstrating what Jo dubbed ‘eye-fucking’. Apparently, Jo said, they did that a lot when they were at the Roadhouse. 

After seeing it for themselves, Sam and Gabriel had shared a surprised look. “Wow,” Gabriel had said. “Your girl was right. That’s ridiculous. How haven’t they figured it out by now? They’re obviously totally into each other!” 

“Yeah, well. My brother’s an idiot. He’s so deep in denial he would never admit to himself that he has a thing for a guy, let alone admit it to anybody else.” 

When Sam had returned from the bar later that night and Dean had stayed back to drink himself into next year, Gabe knew that the younger Winchester had said something. The rest of them played a couple more rounds of pool, but Castiel wasn’t really paying attention anymore. After half an hour Gabriel had convinced Castiel to drive Dean home before he was too drunk to sit on his stool. Part of Gabe hoped that Dean maybe would be in the right drunken state to confess his feelings when he was alone with Castiel. 

But apparently that hadn’t worked. When Gabriel got home, the Impala was parked in front of the house and Cassie’s door was closed. This morning he had left early to pick up Dean and then go to the shelter with him, but he was only gone for two hours and when he got home – on foot – he had dodged all of Gabe’s questions and went straight to his room, where Gabriel found him on the bed with Jasper, snapping to leave him alone.

So Gabe had given him time, but six hours of hiding in his room was enough time in Gabriel’s book. That’s why he was now knocking on Castiel’s bedroom door. “Castiel, I’m coming in now! That silent treatment has gone on long enough.” Without waiting for a reaction, he opened the door and went over to Cassie’s bed, sitting on the edge. “Here, little brother, I brought you some tea. I think it’s time for you to talk to me. What’s wrong?” 

“Gabriel, I really don’t want to talk about it,” Castiel said, pulling his blanket over his head. 

“Maybe, but you need to. Come on, let me try and help you.” 

“Well, there’s really not much to tell.” Castiel reluctantly sat up and took the cup of tea from his brother. “When I went to tell Dean that I was going to drive him home, he seemed pretty... happy about that. It was weird. He handed me the car keys without complaint and that alone is highly unusual behavior for him. 

“On the way to his house he was very... talkative. He couldn’t stop talking about how happy he was to finally get to pick up Mary and how thankful he was that I came into his life and helped him realize what was missing from his life and how much he wanted a cat. I don’t know, I was very confused the whole time. It didn’t make much sense to me, but I guess that was the whiskey talking. I just wish he would have told me why he suddenly started drinking in the first place...” Castiel trailed off thoughtfully, taking some time to drink his tea. 

Gabriel decided not to say anything, he didn’t want to take any chances and do something that could make his brother stop talking again. 

“Anyway,” Cas finally went on, “when I parked the car in his driveway and tried to tell him that I would be coming back at ten a.m., he started to try to convince me to stay overnight again. I refused - and after a few minutes he gave up and instead told me how wonderful it was to be my friend and how great I was for doing so much for him, driving him home and things like that. He then said he couldn’t wait for the morning when he would see me again. He bent over, and before I could react he hugged me.” 

Castiel fell silent and looked down at his cup. “It... it was really nice and I hugged him back. It somehow turned into a really long hug; I thought he might have fallen asleep, so I pulled back a little to look at him and the next thing I knew, our faces were so close together... I could have counted his freckles. I don’t know how long we just sat there and stared into each other’s eyes. They are even greener up close... 

“I don’t know how to describe it, but it felt like one of these ‘moments’ people always talk about. Maybe my feelings for him made me imagine things, but I still think he was instants away from kissing me. 

“Then... we both pulled away almost simultaneously. I don’t know why he did it, but I just had the sudden thought that whatever was happening there, would never be happening if he hadn’t drank so much.”

Castiel paused for a moment. 

“Gabriel,” he went on, “I don’t know how to explain. It isn’t as if I had expected anything from him, but this... it was like a punch. I know that this is most certainly just the normal way he is when he’s drunk, but I don’t know how often I can handle drunken Dean. I guess I was foolish to think I could handle my feelings and stay friends with him... Gabriel, what should I do? I feel like it would be best to get a little space. I don’t want to end the friendship, but maybe I can deal better with all of it, if we see each other less often? What do you think?” 

Gabriel took some time to consider his options. He was very surprised about Dean already coming this close to confess his true feelings, but everything Castiel had told him only confirmed his assumptions that Dean reciprocated Cassie’s feelings. Gabriel had two options now. He could either tell Castiel to talk to Dean, tell him the truth and confess his love. But he didn’t believe Dean was ready to admit that he was in love with a guy, and therefore the risk that he would say or do something to break Castiel’s heart was pretty big. So Gabriel thought it would be best to go with option number 2; he would advise his brother to do what he thought best, reduce the contact and try to get over his feelings, but additionally he would set Cassie up on some dates – everything in hope of getting Dean to think and to become jealous and maybe finally getting over his own restraints. 

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea Cassie. Get your space, maybe do some other things and see some other people for a change. You’ve already made some new friends yesterday; I think you’re on a good path.” 

“Yes, all thanks to Dean.” Castiel hung his head. “Gabriel, it’s going to be really hard not seeing him. And I need excuses why I can’t meet him, I can’t tell him the real reason after all. That would destroy the friendship completely. Will you help me, Gabe?” 

Gabriel put an arm around Castiel’s shoulder and pulled him close for a moment. “Of course, little brother. For starters you can you can come over to the shop and do our books on your next few lunch breaks.” He grinned at his brother mischievously. 

Castiel finally laughed a little. “Thank you Gabriel. And please don’t tell Luce, Mike or Anna about all of that, okay?” 

“Of course not! Now get your ass out of this bed and eat dinner with me. I haven’t seen you much lately anyway, so I’m gonna take this chance to spend some time with you.” 

Over the next few days they followed that plan. Castiel spent his lunch breaks at ‘Toyotas of the Lord’ instead of with Dean and, he looked over their books, but he was clearly very miserable. It was hard for him to suddenly not see Dean every day, and having to lie to his friend didn’t make things better.

On Thursday he finally folded and went to lunch with Dean, but at dinner that night he told Gabriel that he hadn’t stayed long because he just couldn’t act normal and, what was even worse for him, he had gotten quite irritated at Dean for acting as if nothing had happened.

Gabriel had mentioned casually a few times throughout the week, that a guy he knew had shown interest in Castiel and now he decided it was time to go the next step. “Cassie, you know the guy I was telling you about, Inias. He’s a great guy and I think it could be good for you if you went on a date with him.” He stopped his brother before he could protest. “Before you say anything, he knows about your anxieties and he understands and I really think he would do anything to help you feel comfortable. Cassie, I just... you don’t have to marry him, but maybe give him a chance? Just to distract yourself from Dean and to see that he’s not the only man out there. Just give it a try and if it doesn’t work, you can blame me forever and go back to the way things are now. Plus, you’d have another excuse for being unable to meet Dean.” Gabriel winked and grinned at his brother.

It was a sign of how hard all of this was for Castiel, when he just sighed and said, “Fine, if you think it’s a good idea... Maybe the date could be next Saturday? Sam’s birthday party is that day and he invited me, but I don’t feel up to that at all. Do you think he would understand if I canceled because of a date?”

“I’m pretty sure he would.” Gabriel knew for a fact that Sam would be okay with that, since he knew about Gabe’s plan and was on board with it. He too hoped that it would finally crack his brother. “Okay, that’s settled then. I’m gonna text Inias and make the date for next Saturday night.”

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Dean was pissed. He’d been looking forward to Sammy’s party all week because he thought he and Cas would finally be spending some time together again, but when he had texted him earlier today to ask if they wanted to drive together to the Roadhouse, Castiel just texted back apologizing for forgetting to tell him, but he couldn’t come to the party because he had a date. To say Dean was shocked at this information would be putting it mildly. He had absolutely not seen that coming. 

He had barely seen Castiel at all over the past two weeks, let alone spent time with him. His friend had been kinda withdrawn ever since the morning they had picked up Mary at the shelter. Dean had hoped he would stay a little that day, in case he and Mary needed help, but Cas thought it best to give them time alone and left pretty quickly. The next few days he had helped his brothers, and their lunch on Thursday had been cut short because something was wrong with Jasper and Castiel wanted to check on him before returning to work.

If he was honest though, Dean had been a little relieved that day when Cas left. He’d been acting weird; he’d barely talked and if he did it was curtly. Dean didn’t know exactly what was wrong with his friend, but he was pretty sure it had something to do with what had happened Saturday night.

Dean was still mortified about his behavior that night. First he’d ditched his friends to get completely wasted, and then he had nearly chewed Cas’ ear off with all the sappy bullshit he’d talked about in the car. Obviously the stuff Sammy had said had messed with his head more than he’d thought. The worst part of everything though, had been the hug. 

Initially Dean just wanted to give his friend a quick hug goodbye, but Cas had hugged back and when he felt his friend’s arms around him, Dean suddenly was unable to let go. He didn’t know why and his drunken brain didn’t care, he just felt like he wanted to stay in this embrace forever. 

When Cas pulled back a little Dean raised his head to look at him, maybe to complain about the disturbance; but then their eyes met and his brain froze. He realized a whole lot of things in this single moment. He realized that he had never before been that physically close to Castiel; he realized that the guy smelled very nice, and it was the same scent he had noticed on his blanket after Cas had slept in it; he realized that those blue eyes were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, but most importantly – and most startling – he realized that he really, _really_ wanted to kiss Cas.

It seemed like this thought sobered him in an instant, and he pulled back from the hug, at the same time Castiel did as well. Dean just hoped that Cas hadn’t noticed what he almost had done and he had quickly said goodbye after that. He didn’t sleep at all that night, just took a long shower and then paced the house restlessly, wracking his brain about what that had been all about, and what he should do now.

He didn’t really come to any conclusions; the only explanation he found was that he must have been drunker than he’d thought to have such idiotic thoughts and he decided that it would be best if he’d just acted as if nothing had happened when Cas came over and they went to fetch Mary. 

Obviously that tactic hadn’t worked as Dean hoped. When Castiel canceled their Friday night because of his cat’s illness, Dean had been disappointed, but he understood. He just hoped that Jasper would get better. But when Castiel showed up at the shelter the next morning two hours later than normal and left pretty quickly without really talking much to Dean, and apparently not being too bothered to have to cancel their lunch – again – Dean found himself growing incredibly irritated. He had been looking forward to finally talk with his friend about his new life with Mary. He wanted to know what was going on with Jasper and if he’d be ok. He just wanted to spend time with his friend, who, until now, Dean had seen almost daily. 

That evening Dean had put himself in such a foul mood that he decided to go out. Alone. Maybe it was time for him to finally get laid, like he’d had planned weeks ago already. Castiel was doing other stuff - and why shouldn’t he? He was a grown man; he could do what he wanted. It wasn’t his duty to spend every day with Dean. Dean told himself to grow up and do the same. He didn’t even see Benny and Charlie every week and they still were extremely close friends. 

At the bar on the other side of town, it didn’t take Dean long to get talking to a very pretty girl. Her name was Lena. She was funny and smart, had long blonde hair and brown eyes. They hit it right off.

When they left together at the end of the evening, for a moment Dean considered taking Lena back to his place, but the thought of her in his bed, with the blanket that Cas had used when he was crashing on the couch and that still smelled faintly like him – it somehow was unbearable and nearly made him stop the whole thing and go home alone. But he mentally kicked his own ass and instead went home with her. The night was good, but for some reason Dean’s head wasn’t really in the game and he went home the next morning feeling worse than before. 

The following Tuesday Castiel finally had time for lunch again, and this time he was a little less distant than the week before. He told Dean that Jasper had recovered, and he asked many questions about Mary. He seemed delighted at Dean’s stories about his new feline roommate, and how she’d turned his life upside down in just one week.

When they said goodbye, Cas told him that he wouldn’t be able to meet him for the rest of the week due to other appointments. Dean was disheartened, but also a little relieved, because he’d been shocked to notice that all of these strange feelings he had been having over the last few weeks, and the weird sensations that ran through him whenever he accidentally touched Cas, they still hadn’t gone away, despite his night with Lena. He just didn’t know what to make of all of this. So he’d figured it wouldn’t be the worst thing to get some time to think before he saw Cas again. 

Of course he hadn’t done much thinking, because every time he tried to make sense of all this stuff, his brain went back to his talk with Sam and the moment in the car, and he _desperately_ didn’t wanna think about that. So instead, he’d just kinda pushed all of it out of his mind, and had simply been looking forward to Sammy’s party and to have a great time with his friends. 

And now Castiel wasn’t coming. It just wasn’t right. Everybody was here, Dean’s whole chosen family – Bobby, Ellen, Benny, Charlie and her girlfriend Gilda, and Sammy and Jo, of course. Hell, even Gabriel was a part of it now. The only one missing was Cas. And because of a date of all things! Sure, Dean was happy for him that he had found somebody; maybe that was the reason they guy was acting so weird lately and had so little time. But it was Sam’s birthday; couldn’t he have taken one night to celebrate with them?

Dean convinced himself he wasn’t jealous or anything. He was Cas’ best friend! Shouldn’t he meet Castiel’s date to make sure he wasn’t a creep, like that Bartholomew fella?

Dean decided he was pissed. His first impulse was to drink all of Ellen’s whiskey, but he knew how he often acted if he got drunk in this mood and he didn’t wanna ruin Sam’s party. So instead he just stood in a corner and brooded into his beer.

Gabriel brought Sam’s new car over as a surprise, since the younger Winchester had thought it would take another few weeks ‘till he got it. Sam’s booming laugh when he saw the docking station that Dean had ordered for him, complete with red bow, had been the only time all evening Dean had smiled.

Suddenly the music was turned down and Dean heard Sam clear his throat into a microphone. He turned to look up at the little stage and saw his brother and Jo standing there, side by side. Apparently it was time for the speech.

“Hey guys, thank you all for being here. I guess many of you might be wondering why I throw such a big party for something as insignificant as my twenty-seventh birthday. See, thing is, I was kinda hoping to be able to celebrate something else with you tonight as well, but then I didn’t have the balls to do what was necessary for that. This morning however, I finally worked up the nerve and... well...” A huge happy grin crept over Sam’s face. “She said yes!” he yelled, yanking Jo’s hand up, so everybody saw the big sparkling stone on the beaming girl’s finger.

There was a stunned silence and then the Roadhouse _erupted_ in earsplitting cheers. Dean just stood there, shocked and open-mouthed, staring at his little brother. That little fucker had gone and gotten himself engaged and never even mentioned the tiniest thing about his plans to Dean. Of course he was happy for Sam, over the moon actually, but he couldn’t help noticing the knot in his stomach at the thought of his little brother getting married, while Dean hadn’t even had any sort of serious relationship in years.

He always told himself that he had the perfect life, no strings, love ‘em and leave ‘em, never being responsible for some other person; but now, looking at his baby brother and his _fiancé_ , the way they glowed with pure joy, simply by knowing that they’d found their perfect match and would spend the rest of their lives together, Dean realized that this was exactly what he wanted. He wanted somebody that made him happy just by being there, someone he had the same effect on, somebody to care for, who would always be by his side to support him, no matter what. He wanted to love and to feel loved, he wanted a family. He wanted everything.

And he realized...

“Hey, you okay?” A huge hand on his shoulder and Sam’s voice yanked Dean from his musings. Dean turned to look at his brother and saw his concerned face. “Dean, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I only asked her a few hours ago and I didn’t wanna jinx it beforehand by telling anybody.”

“Sammy, no. It’s okay! I’m so happy for you,” Dean quickly plastered a smile on his face to reassure his brother and then, spotting Jo next to Sam, added, “Both of you!” He hugged both of them very tightly, maybe a little longer than usual. “Really! I just...” He trailed off, unsure if he was ready to talk about his revelation. “I just realized...”

“You just realized that you’re the dumbest fuck in existence and recently made the biggest mistake of your life?” Jo suggested.

Dean just gaped at her for a moment, but actually wasn’t really surprised. She knew him better than most people after all. He deflated, shoulders slumping and nodded sadly. “Pretty much, yeah.” Sam just smiled at him as if he was relieved that his brother had finally pulled his head out of his ass. 

“Well, why are you still standing here, babbling bullshit with us then? Go! Go get him!” Jo glared at him and shoved him towards the door. 

Dean didn’t move, still uncertain what to do. “Now?

“Of course now! Haven’t you wasted enough time already? Why wait any longer?” Sam looked incredulously at him.

“But, he’s got a date right now. I don’t wanna intrude. Besides, what’d be the point? Obviously he’s found someone better. What would he want with me anyway?” Dean looked down and took a small sip from his beer. 

“Believe me Dean-o, you should go,” Gabriel’s voice suddenly came from behind him. Dean looked at Castiel’s brother questioningly. “He hasn’t ‘found someone’; I made him go on this date, to take his mind off the things that made him miserable these last weeks. And to get you to finally get your shit together and realize you’re an idiot.” 

Dean was surprised. Cas had been miserable? Why hadn’t he told him? “Why was he miserable?” 

“Maybe because he’s in love with a jerk who nearly kissed him when he was drunk and then acted as if nothing had happened?” 

Dean just stared open mouthed at Gabe. “Wha...” Then he suddenly turned around and pushed his way through the crowd towards the door.

One minute later he was back, pushing his bottle in the hands of a laughing Jo and grabbing his car keys from the small table he had been standing at. Then he turned around to face Gabriel with panicky eyes, but before he could even open his mouth, the older man said chuckling, “They are at the ‘Terrebonne’, know where it is?” 

Dean just nodded and was already on his way out again. He was extremely thankful that he’d chosen to stay sober tonight.

The drive to the fancy restaurant only took him fifteen minutes, but every single one of them felt like an eternity. He was scared he would come too late, that they would already be gone or that this other guy was so great that Cas had decided he was better for him then a lowly mechanic. Because of course this guy would be spectacular; Gabriel would never set his brother up with a douche.

When Dean came to a halt in front of the ‘Terrebonne’, he saw Castiel and a handsome young man walking down the sidewalk side by side. No touching, that was a silver lining. Dean jumped out of the car and hurried after them. “Cas!” he shouted just before they rounded the corner. Castiel and the other man stopped and turned around. Dean caught up with them and took a moment to catch his breath. “Cas, can I...” he took another deep breath, “can I talk to you for a second?” 

Castiel looked at him shocked, while the young man just looked curious. “Dean? What are you doing here? I thought you were at Sam’s party. How did you even know where I was?” 

“Gabriel told me.” Dean answered only the last question. 

“Oh, you are Dean?” The young man sized him up and smiled. “Hello, I’m Inias.” He held out his hand and Dean shook it. Damn, this guy was polite. “I’ll let you two talk. Castiel, thank you for the evening, it was really great.” 

Cas looked at Inias confused. “What? Oh, sorry, yes, it was wonderful. Thank you Inias. I’ll call you next week.”

“That’d be nice. Goodbye Dean, it was nice to meet you.” He smiled at Dean. 

Dean could have sworn Inias winked. He had no idea what that was about, but he really didn’t care at the moment. “Yeah, you too. Bye.” He smiled politely and then Inias turned around and walked away. 

For a long moment Dean and Castiel just stood on the sidewalk and looked at each other. Then Castiel broke the silence. “What did you want to talk to me about that was so urgent, Dean? Is everything alright?”

Dean’s mouth was completely dry and he had no idea what to say. Until now the adrenalin had driven him, fueled by the fear of coming too late. But now, his head was empty. He just stared at Cas, his best friend, the man that somehow had changed Dean’s whole life over these past few weeks.

“Dean? Are you okay?” Cas’ voice carried a concerned undertone now. 

That kicked Dean’s brain into action again. He didn’t want to worry Castiel. “Cas, I... I don’t really know where to start... At first I want to apologize. For my behavior two weeks ago and for all the other stupid things I did since we’ve met.”

Castiel opened his mouth as if to say something, but Dean quickly intervened. “Please, let me finish. Cas, I’m an idiot. Everybody knows that. All my life I’ve been telling myself that I don’t need a relationship, that I don’t want one. My dad never got back onto his feet after my mum died and I just didn’t want anybody coming that close to me. 

“But truth is, that’s bullshit. I do want that. I want that special someone, I want that one person I can always count on, no matter what, I want happiness, I want somebody to come home to, I want somebody to build a nest with, I want a real home, a family. But the really important thing I realized today - or maybe I’ve known for a long time but only just admitted to myself - I want all of this with _you_ , Cas.” 

Castiel, who had just looked terribly confused the whole time now stared wide eyed at him, but Dean wasn’t finished. 

“I’ve been so stupid. Ever since I’ve met you, I’ve known that something was different about our friendship, that how I saw you was different than I saw my other friends. But I refused to think too much about the reason for that, because I was scared to know the answer. You know I’ve always seen myself as a lady’s man. Maybe Sam is right and I never was as straight as I thought I was, maybe I’ve overcompensated because of the way I’ve grown up. But that doesn’t matter now, because I finally figured out that I don’t care what other people think of me, or if I fit in some stupid labeled box. I only care about what _you_ think of me, Cas.

“I know I’m nowhere near good enough for you, but if you’d let me, I would spend every day of my life trying to make you as happy as just being near you makes me. These last two weeks apart from you have been horrible. I want you in my life, in whatever way I can. Even your friendship is more than I could ever have hoped for, but if your brother isn’t a lying asshole and you really want that too, then I want to be with you. I love you Castiel.”

For a moment there was silence, even the noise of the cars on the street seemed to fade. Castiel just stood there, staring speechless back at Dean, who felt as if he had used all the words he’d had left for the rest of his life, but that was ok, because he would never again have to say anything as important as this. When the tension grew so high that it seemed to break him, Cas finally moved again. 

He smiled. It was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen. 

“You’re right,” Castiel said. “You are an idiot, Dean Winchester! Why would you ever think you’re not good enough for me? I’ve been in love with you since the moment I walked out of Gabriel’s office and saw you stroking that car.” He chuckled and looked fondly into Dean’s eyes. “Of course I want to be with you! But are you sure? Are you really ready for this? Because you have to know, I don’t want a secret relationship or anything like that, no matter how much I love you.” 

Dean’s heart skipped a beat when he heard Cas say those words. “No! Cas, I would never keep you a secret. Everybody that matters already knows, anyway. Apparently I was very obvious.” He laughed. “So, what about this guy, Ini... something?” 

“Inias? Oh, he’s just a new friend. Gabriel knows him and thought it would be good if I went out with him, but I guess I wasn’t a very good date. Essentially I talked about you the whole time... That’s why he smiled when he heard you were you.”

They just stood there grinning at each other, both still trying to wrap their heads around what was happening. Then Dean couldn’t take it anymore. He took a step closer to Cas and, still looking into his eyes, he muttered, “So, you said something about loving me as a sideline just now. I’d really like to hear more about that.” He took another step closer, now standing right before Castiel. Cas stared into his eyes, swallowed visibly and unconsciously licked his lower lip, a movement Dean couldn’t help but follow with his eyes. And _fuck_ , if that wasn’t the hottest thing he’d ever seen.

Then Cas opened his mouth and said in an incredibly low voice that went directly south, “I love you, Dean Winchester. I’m completely, helplessly, head over heels in love with you.”

Dean’s mouth went dry once again. He was 100% sure that he had never heard something more beautiful in all his life. But he was still Dean Winchester, destroyer of moments and fairly new to this ‘being open and honest about your feelings’ stuff. So he couldn’t help but put on his cockiest grin and say, “Well, of course you are. I’m awesome!” 

But Castiel, Dean’s personal heaven-sent angel that he was just laughed and said, “Oh, come here, you!” and closed the last bit of distance between their bodies, put his arms around Dean’s neck and pulled him close. When there was a hair’s breadth between their lips, he stopped, and he whispered, “I really didn’t expect this.” and then he pressed his lips on Dean’s. 

Without the slightest hesitation, Dean kissed him back, realizing completely only then how much he had wanted this all along. He put his hands on Castiel’s waist and it didn’t take them long to find their way under the light blue dress shirt he wore. Dean knew exactly what they were looking for. 

Although he couldn’t see it, he knew perfectly well where the beautiful tattoo was located on Cas’ gorgeous skin, which felt even better than he had imagined that morning in his kitchen. Now he _finally_ allowed himself what he had wanted to do back then. He let his fingers trail softly over the tattoo that was protecting his angel from evil. He wasn’t even too embarrassed about the small relieved sound that escaped him at the thought that, from now on, if Castiel let him, Dean would be able to do that whenever he fucking wanted.

He still couldn’t believe it. Castiel was really his. He loved him. Why had he ever been scared off that? He really didn’t know. Standing here on this busy sidewalk in front of a fancy French restaurant on a Saturday evening, kissing this incredible man, Dean realized, nothing in his life had ever felt this... right.

When they finally broke the kiss, but not their embrace, he smiled softly at Cas, pecked him on the nose and whispered, “Come on Angel, let’s go back to the ‘Roadhouse’. I bet our family’s waiting excitedly for our return.”

 

**THE END**

** **

 


	8. Epilogue

Epilogue

 

He still couldn’t believe it. He would never have thought this day would ever be possible for him. He had been convinced that he would spend his life alone, in his brother’s guest room, with his beautiful cat as his only companion.

But now here he was, ready to start the next big adventure of his life. Well, as ready as you could be at three a.m. on a Tuesday in nothing but your pajamas and your beloved trenchcoat. 

He jumped out of the car as soon as the wheels stopped turning and hurried into the building, closely followed by a second pair of feet. At the reception he was so out of breath he could barely talk. “Hello, we... we are looking... for the...”

The lady was very nice, despite the early hour. She smiled at them. “Mr. and Mr. Winchester?” They just nodded, still trying to catch their breaths. “Just go through this door and then the third door on the left. They’re waiting for you.”

They both thanked her as well as they could without being able to properly talk, then Castiel took his husband’s hand and they hurried off.

When they arrived at their destination, everybody was indeed waiting for them. They both were assisted in putting scrubs on over their clothes, then they were ushered into the next room. When the door closed behind them, Castiel held his breath for a moment and squeezed Dean’s hand tight. He was somehow relieved when he noticed that his husband was squeezing back just as tight and was even shaking a little.

This was the day they had been waiting for, basically all their lives. When Cas had gone to bed that night and he had seen that this Tuesday was the exact day he had met the love of his life 5 years back in his family’s car dealership, he somehow had known that it would be the day their life would be complete. And he had been right.

“Cas! Dean! You’re here! Thank god.” The small exhausted voice calling for them from the bed brought him back to reality.

“Hello Amy, how are you feeling?” they both hurried over to the girl, each one of them taking one of her hands.

“I’m so tired. And it hurts so bad. I’m just glad you’re here, I guess it won’t take long anymore now.” 

Dean took a wet towel and wiped the girl’s sweaty forehead, while Cas uttered calming nonsense to her, and when the time came, he helped her breathe correctly.

Both their hands were squished an hour later, but neither Castiel, nor Dean could have cared less. They were sitting on either side of the bed, each of them cradling one of the two most wonderful gifts anybody could have ever given them in their arms, between them the completely exhausted, but very relieved nineteen-year-old girl who would forever be part of their family.

Five years ago, Castiel Lord would never have thought that he would ever have a longer relationship, ever find someone who would be able to handle his anxieties, or even move out of his brother’s apartment. And now Castiel Winchester was living with the man of his dreams and their gorgeous cats in a beautiful house; he had a wonderful chosen family; his anxieties had faded to very rarely little incidents – and he was sitting on a hospital bed, holding his newborn baby daughter Grace in his arms, while the most amazing man on the planet, who also happened to be married to him, held their other newborn baby daughter Hannah in his arms, smiling up at him, making his face light up with wonder and love.

Life truly couldn’t be more perfect.  

 

 

 

 


End file.
